And the incessant ramblings of people when they are thinking sanely...

-- will come to an end in Ferret Gun.

No, we aren't going to stop posting, if that is what you are thinking. No, rather, we are expanding.
Perhaps this will explain it very clearly to you:

Damn straight. Except swords can actually, you know, kill you. (No, please do not dredge up the "guns don't kill people, people kill people" argument - swords have the potential to kill is what I'm saying, although it'd be damn freaky as well as maybe the end of the world if they started hovering around and stabbing people in the gut in a 1-2-3 fashion that would be similar to seppuku or harakiri, etc etc yadda yadda).

Hm, reminds me of a saying. "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." What do you think, actually? Comment if you have an opinion about these two sayings.

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" vs. "The pen is mightier than the sword"

Of course, if we think about this relatively, I don't think sticks and stones can compare to a sword. ... well, the similarity is that if you're whacked by any of them, it hurts. It HURTS, dammit.

./looks at the picture again
Not that I would rather be stabbed by a ninja wielding a giant pen. Nope. Ninja ink'd be pretty neat though.
... the unfortunate medical examiner who'd have to examine my body will probably think I was murdered by a squid waving a machete around. How graceless.

Yes, breaking away from that tangent...

Mnem has established a new site which will be known as The Ink Ninjas (click click click!). As aforementioned, we will not be abandoning Ferret Gun, we are just sorting and stuffing things in places. Think of Ferret Gun as a sock drawer getting too full because we crammed it full of socks. Now think of the Ink Ninjas as another sock drawer, empty and unused. We are moving all the striped socks into the Ink Ninjas drawer. Yes? :D

The Ink Ninjas will be home to writing, writing, rants, the occasional word vomit, but mostly? Writing. They can be independent stories, one-shots, chapters of a story you're working on...

The only comments we'll allow for are those pertaining to constructive criticism or positive feedback.
... flames will only burn.

We'll kick your ass if you flame.

Seriously.

It's not nice.

And I don't know why I'm spacing everything out.

But whatever.

Main point? Don't freaking flame. Seriously. Doesn't make anyone happy.

Time to race over now! :D

If you haven't clicked on the link, CLICK ON IT NOW, DAMMIT.

SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS!

-Chronos

Huhwaitwhat? Vol V: Instant Messenger Of Doom - November edition

Yeah, we've hit the doldrums again.

Huhwaitwhat? Vol IV: Instant Messenger of Doom - September edition

Because we suck at keeping promises.

2011, fk yeah.

Technically this should be Chronos' post (lucky fish beat me to that fateful midnight by an hour due to good location planning) but seeing as I'm the one who's still online, ze honour of zis post is mine all mine, mwahahaha.

Jus' kidding--this is for her too. For everybody. Happy New Year's, world!

(click for big.

warning: big is big.)

PS. New year, new drawing style? :P

I kid, I kid, but I like this way too. It's how I draw when I'm under pressure.

Who is that creepy little shinging cat-like onion thing wielding a hammer with a very dreamy, dreamy smile on its/her/his face?

I got bored.

That's basically it. Isn't that enough motivation for anything we do? 8D Well, me, anyway.

In case you did not know, that, quote unquote, "shinging cat-like onion thing wielding a hammer" is known to fans as Onion Head, for both its "awwww so kyoot"ness as well as its uh, cough, violent bad tempered downright sadistic tendencies.

Speaking of which, who do you think would win?

Honestly, I'd rather just not meet either of them.  

Edit: Mnem's IMHO
"I think the "Run along and die now" bunny [would win], because the onion cat was idiot enough to get itself captured."

Touché, Mnem. Touché. GAWR HOW DO YOU ADD ACCENTS ON THIS THING?  Googling "e accent aigu" + copypasta is how you add accents on this thing, my dear. --Mnem

There you go. So, lil' Onion Head will be greeting you every day now until either Chronos or Mnem get sick of it/her/him lagging the Ferret Gun page, so deal with it. 8D

-Chronos

I'm Only Posting Now...

Because I can? And I need a distraction from studying for my math exam. Well, I could always talk to the eternally procrastinating Mnem. Nahjk. :P

Since I haven't written for quite a while, and as Mnem accurately pointed out to me that --

"Dude. The last 10 posts have all been mine. That is sad."

-- therefore, I will randomly give you an ETA on when we can start posting again: that's if you still care WHY WHAT AM I SAYING? ALL OF YOU LOVE FERRET GUN, RIGHT?!

Yes, the word love, as antsy as I am about using it, gets a bold and italic.
Consequently, as I LOVE to believe people like reading this rapidly dying Ferret Gun, I'm going to tell you about our exams. Mnem is open to snarky edits. 

English: ./points HOMG!

HOLY SHIT IT'S EDWARD THE "SPARKLY SPARKLER" PEDOPHILE! Huhu I have a feeling this impromptu nickname will stick in the future...
I did not spend any time looking for this picture. Not at all. I didn't even type "Twilight Vampire Sparkle" into Google. 
Although, this basically does sum it up:

I don't even know this guy. What a philosopher!

I would have went for a "WTF" myself, but ah, it's cool. Someone in the English department had the nerve to pick a passage out of New Moon to analyze. I'm not hating on the book anything, it was the movie that ruined it for me. That, and it's "in" to bash Twilight at any chance you get.

Modern History: General Penis, our lovely history teacher, has the misfortune to teach a class in which an outline of a country turns into "Is that a penis?", in which looking at a painting of Napoleon and his holy shit tight tights equally as lovely white pants and stockings someone commented "I can see his junk", in which there's a beautiful painting of "The Creation of Man" on a calender hanging in plain view of the entire class with Adam's 'thing' which has "made men sad for centuries". Well, it didn't help that he was joining in. Not that he was cracking any perverted jokes, thank God, except for that one time where someone commented "[General Penis] and his penises" and he responded by slowly covering his-- OKAY LET'S NOT GO THERE -- with the review packet for the exam.
We do learn things, we really do.
... really.

AND BEHOLD THE NAPOLEON JUNK. Well, I'm not going to circle it. No, it isn't his head. No, this isn't the actual painting. Someone Photoshopped the head, but it is otherwise intact.

IT'S UP CLOSE TOO! ... and as far as I can tell, this has been Photoshopped too. :D Not the vital "part", but the part where God is kind of poking Adam in the eye with a twig?

 This exam had an endearing, adorable little touch to it though - question 41, the bonus question, the epitome of important, important questions...

Q.41: Which high school history teacher in our school is the most handsome?
              a) General Penis,
              b) The-Teacher-That-Accidentally-Found-A-Porn-Site-When-
                  Trying-To-Look-Up-Tiannamen-Up-On-The-Projector-In-
                   Front-Of-His-Class ("accidentally", they all say),
              c) all of the above,
              d) none of the above.
Let's leave my answer to your imagination, shall we?

The Modern Languages: A name given to the truly fitting low standard language courses in international schools. Not to be a douche or anything, but truly, a French grade schooler could pwn Mnem in French (and she's in one of the highest possible classes that she's able to atm!), and a Chinese kindergarten kid could pwn my ass and feed little bits of me to the sharks with their Mandarin skills. Well, I had two exams in a row, one for Mandarin in the morning and one for Bahasa right after because it's a required course for graduation blah blah blah oh look I've started again.

No, this has nothing to do with Modern Languages. Just thought it was cute. AW WHALE EATING PERSON HEAD. :D

Chemistry: Nothing much to say except I came in... about 6 hours before the exam I was supposed to take? I needed to "study", after all no nonononononono I need social interaction halp halp HALP!!!!onewan111111o!1jO!!!1! Did you know? Saying "I want to do pharmaceuticals" in university can be misconstrued. ... there's a reason why 'in university' ain't in quotes, y'know?

Biology: Over to you, Mnem. 

              I drew the life of a vesicle in graphic novel format, and
              things just went downhill from there.

Advanced Algebra and Trigonometry: An intimidating class name that is as intimidating as it sounds I don't know what the fuck I'm doing halp halp halp shit I have the exam tomorrow raaaaaaaaaaah!

Screw logs.
Don't quote me out of context.
./goes into epileptic fits of misery and desperation but mostly procrastination  THE PROCRASTIREAPER 2000 HAS GOTTEN ME NOW. AAAAAARGH! Don't ask me why people in my imagination have the time and sadness to invent a Grim Reaper for procrastination.
Well, time for review.
./gloom

-Chronos "NO LEMME GO WAIIIIIII !!!!!WANONE!!!!11111!!!ON!EO!!!

P.S. Wtf?

Internet Browser Mashing

The ultimate equation regarding the use of internet browsers. Well, more like an inequality, but let us not go into technicalities, shall we?

Firefox + Google Chrome > Chicken Wings > Cheese > Flying Pigs > Knee High Socks > Dying in A Hole > Napoleon > Crap > Everything Else > Internet Explorer

I'll expand once I think of more *relevant* comparisons to use.
A certain cynical non-believer has finally risen from the darkness! Well, minus the fact that McAfee isn't automatically applicable in Google Chrome for some reason.

Yaah. Hi, I'm back. Been busy. I'll end the post now because I think the bell's going to ring soon (for school).
Will *add more substance* because I think Mnem will kill me for such a short return post. 

-Chronos

H-H-H-H-H-HOLY HELL!

... is an oxymoron.

Mnem, put the rifle down...

WE ALL LOVE THE LETTER 'H', don't we?

Horse, happy, hippopotamus, hippies, hip-hip-hooray, hell, heaven, hedgehog...

WE LOVE HEDGEHOGS TOO.

Eusebia's birthday is tomorrow, so all of our friends decided to pitch in and make a few letters that spelling out "H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y * * * * * ".

Yaa. I give you one sample. But that's only because it's the best one. (ALL THE OTHERS SUCK).

 

DID I MENTION I LOVE CRAFT PUNCHERS? 

On a saner note (yes, I am aware my FG posts have gradually gotten crazier), for a very fun, fun English assignment (for once), we have to rewrite Rumpelstiltskin in either a teen angst or letter / epistolary genre.

Since I like the LJ formatting for reading things, you may find HELL a link back there.

Nah, not really. 

-Chronos

The First Award to Be Given Out--!

I could have done a better job. :(

EDIT: Lies. --Mnem

BUT HERE YOU GO MNEM!

The Ferret Gun, its family and its affliates proudly presents you with

THE SIGNATURE OF ACHIEVEMENT

For singlehandedly keeping Ferret Gun afloat with constant posting.

We all appreciate it when you put in extra effort when Chronos goes on strike to reach our goal!



A specially made signature to recognize your achievement! (You don't have to use it.)

Just recognizing your awesomeness. Seriously, thanks for all those extra posts!

-Chronos, the Ferret Gun family, and those other people who sponsor us but not really.
(+ extraneous formatting by Mnem. Who says "D'awww thankyou :)" to everything above.)

D'AWWWWWWW.

LOOKIE HERE MNEM, LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

Slightly terrifying, but perhaps something Mnem would like.

I HEREBY DUB THIS HYBRID CREATURE A ROWL. Or an Owlbit. Eh. Whatever catchy combining of the names grabs your fancy.

-Chronos

LOOK! LOOK OVER HERE!

... what? Why are you looking in this direction?

There's nothing to see here. Shoo, shoo shoo.

Fwahahaha, with this, we only have 5 posts left to write--

YOU

SAW

NOTHING.

THIS

IS

ABSOLUTELY

NOT,

IN

ESSENCE,

A

STALL

POST.

STALL POST?! WHERE?!

-Chronos

Huhwaitwhat? Vol III: Instant Messenger of Doom - March Archives -The Epileptic Inks -

Mnem's head on a stick. [by Chronos]

Chronos' head on a stick. [by Mnemosyne]

The gluestick mascot. [by Chronos]

(Apparently) Chronos in a paper bag. [by Chronos]

(Apparently) Chronos in a paper bag version 2.0. [by Chronos]

Guy with an abnormally large nose looking over a wall. [by Mnemosyne]

Mnemosyne before car accident. [by Chronos]

"Chronos is inside the jail, I am outside it." [by Mnemosyne]

Humpty Dumpty (or some random yellow potato resembling him) on a wall. [by Chronos]

Another rendition of "Who is In the Jail Cell?" [by Chronos]

Yet another rendition of "Who is In the Jail Cell?". [by Mnemosyne]

Mnemosyne in the midst of a rough storm / the blue flames of hell. [by Chronos]

-Chronos

(+ additional formatting by Mnem)

ZOMGFISH.

Look! It's Chronos and Mnem!

(No, seriously, this is us. For real this time.)

Random Bits Of Information That You May Or May Not Have Any Interest Whatsoever In Acquiring That Somehow Pertain To This Picture:

1. The pink creature on Chronos' head would be Chomp, the smiley-defenestrating octopus she cheated out of an arcade claw booth, and I say cheated because arcade claw booths are designed for the very purpose of providing a long-term home to their fuzzy little occupants. You're not actually ever meant to win anything off them... not by legal means at least. -shifty look-
2. I don't actually have pink hair. Nor is it straight. But I do possess that headband (although IRL it has white polkadots on it, because everything is better when it's eyecrunching) and a wig cut in that style, which I wore to school on Thursday in order to commemorate the 28th of October (otherwise known as The One Day You Get To Dress Up In School Because Hallowe'en Has The Nerve To Fall On A Weekend This Year). The look I was going for was Pippi Longstocking, complete with red plaid dress, layers over and under said dress, purple shoes, and long stockings socks (that also had dots!!!!!1!!one!), but somehow everybody kept telling me I was Lady Gaga, or Cyndi Lauper, or Wednesday Addams, or Hit-Girl, or Scout from TKAM, or some songstress from an all-girl K-pop band. (Weird.) I also got an unhealthy amount of comments to the effect of "You'd look nice if you actually styled your hair that way" and an equally objectionable although much more humorous amount of "Why did you dye your hair pink?", to say nothing of the odd joker who strolls past, double-takes, and then says real quietly, "Nice socks." -breathes- Run-ons FTW.
3. These were two separate pictures that I popped into GIMP and traced over by hand. Don't have a tablet (but Chronos does, lucky beggar) so it was all mousework for me. Got the nice smooth final look by running the inked and coloured .png through Inkscape's path tracer, which converts bitmaps (the image format based on pixels which is famous for exploding in high zoom mode) into vectors (the image format based on mathematical formulae which is famous for not exploding in high zoom mode). Because practically nobody and nothing accepts .svg files I screenshotted the final result and tossed it into GIMP once again. Consider it a sort of artistic volleyball, if you will, but if the shoe fits...
4. LOL Chronos looks really Chinese here doesn't she? -grins-
5. Font is Lemons Can Fly. Get it from here, not here, because the .zip from the latter site will throw a hissy fit and demand a password upon extraction.
6. I like the way I drew the hair--for both of them (both of us?). Criticism in this area will be met with tank-crushing. See previous post for the gory details.
7. Holy shet that was a lot of writing.
8. Haha, it's late.
9. We're not really talking about the picture now are we?
10. ... screw that.
11. ~Mnem

Happy 5th Month Anniversary, Ferret Gun!

./wanders in

So sorry I haven't been around.

Says it all, really.

But as compensation for leaving this blog to dry like a hanging sardine, here is a treat.

Hopefully it'll amuse you for a few days.

WE ARE STILL ON EMOTICON STRIKE. 
We also have some fried smileyface. Would you like to try some?  

-Chronos

"I have been busy", says Chronos. "BULLSHIT!", yells Mnem.

Since I have nothing better to do, I might as well.

No, I haven't been avoiding you. 's just that writer's blocks keep slamming down in front of me--

CRASH

...well, this time it landed on me. No worries, Mad will come back with a spatula soon enough.

-Chronos "I REALLY can't think of anything. Lol @ 131 posts for Mnem, 103 posts for Chronos."

Members of our extended FG family [an unfinished list]

Cats

• Coraline Avatar Titanic ("Corrie"): originally Mnem's cat, but now a fully fledged member of the Ferret Gun family and queen of the lower floors. Is blue more often than not. Wife of Eli.
• Franklyn Elizabeth Lassie Insomnia Nosferatu Evita ("Liza"): superfluous ambassador between ourselves and the animals; receives free psychological counselling as part of her job perks. Corrie's sister.

Ferrets

• Freaking Epic Rage Rage Eli Omu Tricycle ("Eli Trick"): a genteel, sophisticated fellow with a British accent and a fondness for tweed and scones. The only animal member of our inner circle possessed of the faculty of speech. Husband of Corrie.
• Nin: one of Chronos' Ninja Ferrets. Now you see him, now you don't.
• Jafer: another Ninja Ferret. Chandelier fixer-upper extraordinaire.
• Ret: the last Ninja Ferret. Responsible for most of the bedwetting incidents amongst the newer recruits.
• Martin Luferret: Dorm Head and mediator. Also a vocal critic of the Norman Cathartic Church. Has a thing for nuns, but as long as he keeps seventeen rowdy ferrets and seventeen rowdy ferret beds in tip-top shape, we shall not pass judgement.

Humans

• Chronos: resident mad (evil?) scientist, tinkerer of space/time, ninja ferret inaugurator, and cook.
• Mnemosyne: incorrigible paintress, opener of windows, record-keeper, and cleaner.
• The Head Gardener: exactly what it says on the tin on his namecard. Worships Chronos after she stitched his hand back on, but only because she very conveniently forgot to remind him that it was she who sliced it off in the first place.
• The Little Old Lady Who Lives On The Top Floor With Twenty-Six Cats And A Pronounced Interest In Taxidermy: because every house needs a topic to avoid at the dinner table.

Omus

• Ostrich Supper Triangle Random Imp Chop-Chop Ha-Ha Emu Mop Unicyc ("Omu"): neurotic, fiendish, oddly toothsome. Six-time winner of the bimonthly Metaphorical Marathon (look at those legs!), itinerant knitter, and ninja in training. Has a reputation for pushing people off the top landing and then braining them with flowerpots on the way down. Wife of Mad.
• Mikaelomu: a talented sculptor. Responsible for the creepy gargoyles in Chronos' and Mnem's images that bedeck the gothically themed ledges of the Animals' Wing, not to mention the marble lawn gnomes dotting the grounds and the Postmodern cabinet fixtures in the kitchen.
• Peggy: runs a transport service which hires out and maintains a fleet of corridor-ready vehicles ("'cuz this is a damn big tower, you know?" -- Chronos). Looks upon hybrids with ill-disguised scorn. Restores 19th-century bicycles in her spare time.

Penguins

• Pen Excalibur Nomad Gwin Umbrella Ink Ninja ("Mad", "Destroyer Of Worlds", "Oh God Please No Put That Down Please I'm Begging You "): Chronos' ward, protector, and right-hand bird. Can often be found in the Bunker, where all the science-y heavy equipment / semilegal compounds are kept. Universally feared. Husband of Omu.
• Poppy: a smaller-than-average penguin who happens to be Head Penguin Gardener, second (in terms of arboreal power) only to the Head Gardener. Has souped up the lawnmower in such a way that the resultant Frankenmower (her term, not ours) is currently banned in thirty-seven countries and subject to ongoing investigation in a further fifteen.
• Guintler: always on his soapbox. As fine an orator as can be had in the avian world. Also used as target practice when the ferrets get restless.
• Gardening Task Force: a tightly-knit cadre of specially trained penguin horticulturalists, landscapers, and hedge pruners. Suspicious of outsiders. Capable of doing terrible things with fertilizer sacks.
• Kung Fu Panda: a penguin in a panda suit who won't tell anybody why he's in a panda suit. Currently responsible for training ninja ferrets and taking charge of Tower security. Has previously taken out intruders with a combination of ballpoint pens, chewed twine, and the little clear things on the ends of shoelaces.

Misc

• October Chomp-Chomp Tentacles Orange Partyhat Underground Squawk ("Chomp"): neon pink octopus perpetually glued to Chronos' head/shoulder. Akin to an ambitious headcrab with fluoro tendencies, or a really big benign tick. Morally opposed to fried calamari. Unimpressed by soccer.
• Ominous Swiveling Watchful Lollipop ("Swiv"): small, candy-coloured owl. Knows all. Sees all. Has a fondness for CSI: NY and turning 360 degrees without moving an inch. Watches the entrances of both Chronos' and Mnem's wings thanks to a duplicate, indistinguishable from the real one. Recently voted "Most Likely To Be Seen On FBI's Most Wanted"* at the annual Tower Staff Get-Together, due to stalkerish tendencies and incessant hooting at unholy hours of the morning.

~Mnemosyne

*Mad was disqualified for reasons of already being on the Most Wanted list (#7).

Documentation of the all-too-common lame pun monster, also known as Chronos

Because somebody said they wanted proof she was alive. Or it may just have been the schizo talking to herself, I don't know.

(Between you and me, it is getting a little harder to distinguish between what's real and what's not nowadays. Sometimes I pick up the phone and hold a lovely long chat with an old friend--"Hi, how are you, how are the kids, burnt any bridges recently?"--before realizing that the number hasn't been dialled, the cord isn't plugged in, and I have, in fact, been talking to a banana all along.)

 But I digress. Witness the Chronos in all her blinding, blinding eloquence.

She's the blue nutcase text, by the way, although I'm fairly sure the punage OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE made it obvious. -ahem-

Speaking of voices in heads:

(Mnem and Atlas pass a BlackBerry ad with the tagline "Talk to your inner, inner circle!")
Atlas: Disturbing.
Mnem: Wait, isn't your inner inner circle the voices in your head?
Atlas: For you, maybe--
Mnem: Awesome, I can bbm them now!

Yeah.

~Mnemosyne

Doomful frogs abound. Also, hippos + swearing

So maybe I lied about the frogs. Pshh.

Mad: ./hops off spatula
Mad: ./boots Mnem into the hole
Mnem: -shrieks-
Mnem: -grabs Mad-
Mnem: -both of them tumble down-
Chronos: Mad's... tubbiness will get him stuck in a hole at one point...
Chronos: ./pop sound
Chronos: There we go.
Mnem: -clings ferociously to a flipper-
Chronos: Oooh, not for long though.
Mnem: -scrambles up penguin-
Chronos: ./hippo comes tumbling down
Mnem: OH SHIT SHIT SHIT
Chronos: Dear dear dear.

~Mnem

Encounters of the self-sim kind, part I

There has been a resurgence of interest in Sims 2 amongst Chronos and myself lately. However, when I say "interest", I do not in any way mean to imply that we are up to the same brands of digital mischief. She is content with doing healthy, normal things like raising families and stranding random townies in 4x4 swimming pools. I, on the other hand, occupy myself with poking innocent pixels into looking a little less like Joe Q. Public and a little more like (le gasp) us. Not healthy. Not healthy at all. But perhaps a little normal.

The term is "self-sim" (alternative titles referencing narcissism, egotism, and lack of adequate attention during childhood were vetoed by the early gaming community), and quite frankly I do not understand the need for such things. If you want to look at yourself, go grab a mirror. If you want to have your dream home, go build it. If you want to juggle seven relationships at once, reach the top of the military career and cook breakfast in the buff, then there's nothing stopping you from doing that, except perhaps federal laws and a little thing called family honour. But I digress. A self-sim is unnecessary. And Mnemosyne is a colossal hypocrite, because she just spent a good forty-five minutes making not one but two self-sims, although she pleads leniency due to the fact that only one of them was of her.

Prepare for retinal damage, people.

"Aw, that ain't too bad!" Well, yes, I suppose, apart from the fact that she looks nothing like me. There's the face structure, or lack of it, and the weird skintone. Shiny? Really? Wtf was I thinking when I grabbed this? The phrase I've heard used before is "buttered ham", and in retrospect they were on to something. Real people don't look like that unless they have some sort of frog gene therapy going on. It ain't so bad here because I hid it up in long sleeves and trousers (incidentally, I do this in real life too, although there is the need to make clear that I do not resemble any sort of oiled meat in my day-to-day wanderings), but it damn near comes close to glowing in the freaking dark. (Hey, wait a minute...)

The hairstyle I can refrain from chucking out the window, except for the barrette (barrettes steal your soul when you're not looking). The clothes are somewhat similar to what I would like to wear IRL provided the weather allowed for it, which it most patently does not, living as we do in Southeast Asia. Final verdict: horrible. Onwards ho.

OMGWTFBBQ IT'S CHRONOS! THE HILLS! RUN FOR THEM!

LOLJK don't hurt me please. -shrinks back into chair-

This is my attempt at Chronos, as you may or may not have inferred from the all-caps up there. Words cannot express how un-Chronos this Sim is. The face! It does not resemble her face at all! It's as if I have never seen her by the light of anything more substantial than a dying firefly on his last milliwatt of strength! The hair! It does not resemble her hair at all! By the gods, it's as if this isn't Chronos at all, but a badly made, totally unreferenced, I haven't-actually-seen-her-since-Friday unwarranted selfsim... owait. Owait, yeah, it is.

-makes face-

She does wear clothes like that sometimes, though, which is the only point I will allow. Usually when she sleeps. No, I do not watch her when she sleeps. Not often. I mean... never. :B Never, yeah, never. She snores Would I lie to you?
Chronos: Yes.

Oh shut up and go away and let me work on these abominations in peace.

~Mnemosyne

Huhwaitwhat? Vol III: Instant Messenger of Doom - February Archives

Since Mnem and I talk frequently on MSN, we are bringing Instant Messenger of Doom installments through montly archives. :B

<---INSERT DISTRACTING LINE BREAK HERE--->

Mnemosyne: May I ask what the little bunny creature monster thing pulling stars out of the frame has to do with any of this?

Mnemosyne: HOLD UP! We’re suing hit men? Think about it for a minute, Chronos. That’s like asking a ninja to pay his cell phone bills.

Mnemosyne: Crap, a shuriken.

Chronos: Yes. Fear the tinny weapon that will lead you to your doooooom.

Mnemosyne: Tinny or tiny?

Chronos: I meant to say tinny.

-after spamming some emoticons-

Mnemosyne: They’re so epic. This must be what it’s like to have a voodoo zombie black magic army.

Mnemosyne: Bored of your brain? Morbid about your mental state? Try ShakaLobo! The best in the field of quick and painless lobotomies. Get that irritating left hemisphere out of your life TODAY! Note: Doctors are not qualified physicians/brain surgeons, but are actually actors. Unemployed actors. Or at any rate, they will be.

Mnemosyne: -facepalm- Every time you write “ebil”, I think “gerbil”. I’m sorry.

-after Chronos has trapped Mnemosyne under an upside down laundry basket weighed down with rocks-

Chronos: -fixes- Happy?
Mnemosyne: As happy as I can be in a laundry basket under a pile of rocks with a leaking water dripper and wet clothes and an ancient loaf of bread that is moving slowly towards me as I speak.

-after Chronos gave Mnemosyne an animated bread roll named Lily-

Lily: 8D –walks over to computer and starts Facebooking-

Mnemosyne: Well, that’s creepy.

Lily: -adds Mnem- -jumps- FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEE! 8DDDDDDDD
Mnemosyne: -grabs security camera- -shakes- CHRONOS HELP ME WHAT THE HELL DO I FEED IT?!

Chronos: Oh, just give it a drop of your blood every day. –small dagger lands on the table-

Mnemosyne: -whimpers-

Lily: Hey, Mnemosyne. Dude, just gimme a French fry or something. Why are you holding a dagger? Hello? Hellooooooo?

Mnemosyne: -puts dagger down-

Chronos (over speakers): Oh yeah, I lied.

Mnemosyne: I KILL YOU.

Mnemosyne: Yes, life is unfair and sexist even in little kid cartoons.

Mnemosyne: -commences drinking song- Whaddya do wiv a drunken shailor? –hic-

Chronos: Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. In other words… KILL THEM! –stab-

Mnemosyne: -nervous hiccup-

Chronos: Still croaking, eh? –stab stab stab stab-

Mnemosyne: -dying hiccups-

Chronos: Hm… -sticks in coffin-

Mnemosyne: -encoffinated hiccups-

Chronos: -calls Mnem’s parents- Uh, yeah, currently dying. Friend? Yeah. Uh huh. I’m sorry.

Mnemosyne: -“get me out of this wooden box” hiccup-

Chronos: What was that? Oh, nothing. I’m sorry, just her dying words… yes, she is very, very sick…

Mnemosyne: -“WTF are you talking to?” hiccup-

Chronos: You heard her? No, I’m sorry, you must be mistaken…

Mnemosyne: -“WTF are you doing this?” hiccup-

Chronos: Hm… yes… -bonks Mnem on head with hammer- Oh dear. A complication. … oh, nothing, sorry! I’ll call you back with more news. –hangs up-

Mnemosyne: -“ouch” hiccup-

Chronos: STOP LIVING DAMMIT. –bonk bonk bonk ponk ponk ponk-

Mnemosyne: I think I’m supposed to be working on the essay right now. : ( But it can wait. [fast forward to Tuesday morning] CRAP CRAP CRAP : P

Chronos: LOL. As expected of Mnemosyne.

Mnemosyne: -snort- At least it gets done.

Chronos: Psh if it was me… I WOULD BE SCREWED. D8 WHICH IS WHY IT IS CALLED HOME… work.

Mnemosyne: Chronos, it is you. You’re in the same pickle.

Chronos: … DAMMIT.

Mnemosyne: Big pickle, obviously, to fit both of us…

Chronos: -starts writing- THOUGH I HATE PICKLES. –starts writing again-

Mnemosyne: Whyyyyyyy do you haaaaaaaate piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickles?

Chronos: They look like cucumbers. And they are suspended in fluid when not eaten. In other words… THEY ARE CYBORGS FROM THE FUTURE THAT PLAN TO TAKE OVER OUR BRAAAAAAINS!

Chronos: You are surrounded by two of my armies. Surrender.

Mnemosyne: Never. THIS IS SPARTA! –charges-

Chronos: No it ain’t. –armies NOM Mnem’s army-

Mnemosyne: What army?

Chronos: Thanks for that, I won’t have to worry about feeding them for… 10 years?

Mnemosyne: -confused- I think you will have a lot of explaining to do… that wasn’t my army you ate.

Chronos: Well, who cares, it was someone’s. And it will keep them full for 10 years. So screw whose army it was.

Mnemosyne: -quietly slips from room-

Chronos: -wakes up- AHA! –chases-

Mnemosyne: -flees-

Chronos: HEY, COME BACK -- -trips over rock- [insert epic slow mo] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAGH -- -splat-

Mnemosyne: -returns with a lollipop-

Chronos: -stare…- YOU MADE ME CHASE AND TRIP FOR A LOLLIPOP WHY YOU LITTLE (#&$)(@#&$)(#@!*$_@!*$!@(&%()@#&$!*)@#(^%)(@#*$)(@!*$!@~!

Mnemosyne: -hurriedly presents lollipop to Chronos-

Chronos: I DON’T WANT CHER LOLLIPOP ROARZ. –returns to sulkily doing math hw-

Mnemosyne: -hurt- I never ASKED you to chase after me…

Chronos: Well, when you say –flees- and I add in some chase music in my head, it sure doesn’t help me to NOT chase after you, doesn’t it?!

-Chronos "I'm the only one that's laughing, right? :B"