Post binge is binge-y.

A quote from a veeeeery long time ago that I had forgotten deliberately neglected to put up.

(after being exposed to some country music)
Polyhymnia: That sounded like Daughtry.
Lethe: Eh, I don't really like him that much.
Polyhymnia: Why?
Lethe: I dunno. I just don't.
Polyhymnia: ...is it because he's bald?

I miss P. :(

~Mnem

The British: exhibiting deductive brilliance--in more ways than one--since 1887 (and still going strong)

"[Y]ou can see why men wanted to get the look. Perhaps they noted the effect [Benedict] Cumberbatch, by no means your standard telly hunk, had on lady viewers ... and decided it must have something to do with the clobber. So it is that Britain's latest men's style icon is a fictional asexual sociopath first seen onscreen hitting a corpse with a stick. Surely not even the great detective himself could have deduced that was going to happen."

-- Alexis Petridis, journalist
(bolding mine)

IN OTHER NEWS: sudden attack of Sherlock Holmes obsession reported. Fine end to 2010 this is, mm.

~Mnem

Not a deerstalker in sight

Very very cool video juxtaposing two different takes on Sherlock Holmes: the technically inclined modern-day consulting detective played by Benedict Cumberbatch in the BBC TV programme Sherlock and Robert Downey Jr.'s much more actiony Victorian gent from the 2009 Sherlock Holmes film. I haven't watched the British one myself but I can say without doubt that the other one is teh awesome. And then, of course, there are the books...

yes Chronos this post is looking at youuuuu

Ahem.

~Mnem

Who is that creepy little shinging cat-like onion thing wielding a hammer with a very dreamy, dreamy smile on its/her/his face?

I got bored.

That's basically it. Isn't that enough motivation for anything we do? 8D Well, me, anyway.

In case you did not know, that, quote unquote, "shinging cat-like onion thing wielding a hammer" is known to fans as Onion Head, for both its "awwww so kyoot"ness as well as its uh, cough, violent bad tempered downright sadistic tendencies.

Speaking of which, who do you think would win?

Honestly, I'd rather just not meet either of them.  

Edit: Mnem's IMHO
"I think the "Run along and die now" bunny [would win], because the onion cat was idiot enough to get itself captured."

Touché, Mnem. Touché. GAWR HOW DO YOU ADD ACCENTS ON THIS THING?  Googling "e accent aigu" + copypasta is how you add accents on this thing, my dear. --Mnem

There you go. So, lil' Onion Head will be greeting you every day now until either Chronos or Mnem get sick of it/her/him lagging the Ferret Gun page, so deal with it. 8D

-Chronos

Lame joke is lame (but at least it fills the quota)

Q: Which three English football teams have obscenities in their names?
A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe, and Manchester Fucking United.

~Mnem

Suddenly, the Pets EP is looking a lot more ominous

Other people's Sims games.

They amuse me.

Endlessly.

~Mnem

And suddenly, it roars back into life! Loljk, FG's still dead. Pass the eye of newt and the defibrillators and we'll fix that, though

LEAH: You should look at adoption ads. I see them all the time in the PennySaver.
JUNO: They have ads for parents?
LEAH: Yeah! "Desperately Seeking Spawn." Right next to, like, terriers and iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff.

Hehe, Juno. -adds to list of Movies Chronos Must Be Made To Watch By Force If Necessary- It ain't an awful long list, though, since I'm usually the one with the pushy well-cultured friends who find my utter lack of an education in good taste somewhat downright appalling and a little exceedingly unladylike. Well boo hoo to you too. Scout Finch wasn't no lady neither and she's a gawdam goldarn goshdang [Ed. If you must swear, at least swear properly] literary icon for it. -wrinkles nose-

That aside, how are things going? It's been a while since we've posted--nearly a week, actually--well, six days since I last wrote and e-l-e-v-e-n days since that other random girl who runs this ship dragged her exam-ridden arse to a keyboard and feathered off a funny little suicide note about term assessments. One that I have neglected to update in regards to Biology Also, ~*~*~Edward Cullen~*~*~.

Fk you Chronos. Fk youuu. Mostly for the eyeslappingly flamboyant glitterification, but also because you hotlinked the original image and rehosting the thing on Tinypic requires that a copy of the picture in question be uploaded from a computer to the website itself. So I actually had to have Mr ~*~*~Edward Cullen~*~*~, Sparkleface Twithead Extraordinaire, on my hard drive. -sob sob sob- NO AMOUNT OF ANTIVIRUS WILL GET RID OF THE SHAME. NONE. SO THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR THAT.
AND NOW I WILL GO CRY IN THE CORNER ALL BY MYSELF, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

Mad: -head whips around-
Mad: -SHING-

...or maybe I'll just shelve the pain and continue with updating the blog.

Mad: -head retracts, disappointed-

Well, while I'm sure that some of the fine readers of this equally fine periodical exploded from the perceived testosterone in that picture, it seems far more likely that a substantially greater percentage of the audience quite frankly imploded from the total and utter lack of any such chemical compounds present in the person of ~*~*~Edward Cullen~*~*~. Think of it as a testosterone vacuum--not the hoovering things but the voids. Actually, think of space. Lack of testosterone. Lack of air. Lack of anything. ~*~*~Edward Cullen~*~*~ (and yes this is getting tiring) is outer space: cold, dead, and something that should be stayed away from until further notice. (Take that, Twihards!)

... huh, I've spent the better part of half an hour on my back with the laptop tucked up on my abdomen typing and then deleting snark against an imaginary vampire. (Yeah, I binned one paragraph about the ethics of the situation since I figured that me... talking about ethics... um... not quite appropriate, shall we say.) The pillow ends an inch below my shoulder blades and my neck is pressed hard up against the headboard of the bed and it will hurt like hell quite soon (I predict) and the warm heat of the motherboard whistling along belies the staggering doses of radiation which are apparently boring straight into my innards and frying all the little cells into a state of perfect non-vitality. So yes, I am destroying my ovaries and setting the scene for the biggest goddamn neck crick in the past half-century because I just love you that much. Enjoy it. Bask in the adoration. Feel the warm glow of appreciation bathing every inch of you from head to toe and back again. Happy? Yes? Good. Now get me an ice cream and take out ~*~*~Edward Cullen~*~*~ with a sub-machinegun or I sic seventeen penguins on you and Lord knows that won't be pretty for anyone involved.

~Mnem

Filler post is filler

I find this hilarious. Can't say why.

~Mnem

Madcap screencap adventures! or, If a picture is worth a thousand words, then I just won out on War and Peace

In this update: screenshots. Lots of 'em.

I'm Only Posting Now...

Because I can? And I need a distraction from studying for my math exam. Well, I could always talk to the eternally procrastinating Mnem. Nahjk. :P

Since I haven't written for quite a while, and as Mnem accurately pointed out to me that --

"Dude. The last 10 posts have all been mine. That is sad."

-- therefore, I will randomly give you an ETA on when we can start posting again: that's if you still care WHY WHAT AM I SAYING? ALL OF YOU LOVE FERRET GUN, RIGHT?!

Yes, the word love, as antsy as I am about using it, gets a bold and italic.
Consequently, as I LOVE to believe people like reading this rapidly dying Ferret Gun, I'm going to tell you about our exams. Mnem is open to snarky edits. 

English: ./points HOMG!

HOLY SHIT IT'S EDWARD THE "SPARKLY SPARKLER" PEDOPHILE! Huhu I have a feeling this impromptu nickname will stick in the future...
I did not spend any time looking for this picture. Not at all. I didn't even type "Twilight Vampire Sparkle" into Google. 
Although, this basically does sum it up:

I don't even know this guy. What a philosopher!

I would have went for a "WTF" myself, but ah, it's cool. Someone in the English department had the nerve to pick a passage out of New Moon to analyze. I'm not hating on the book anything, it was the movie that ruined it for me. That, and it's "in" to bash Twilight at any chance you get.

Modern History: General Penis, our lovely history teacher, has the misfortune to teach a class in which an outline of a country turns into "Is that a penis?", in which looking at a painting of Napoleon and his holy shit tight tights equally as lovely white pants and stockings someone commented "I can see his junk", in which there's a beautiful painting of "The Creation of Man" on a calender hanging in plain view of the entire class with Adam's 'thing' which has "made men sad for centuries". Well, it didn't help that he was joining in. Not that he was cracking any perverted jokes, thank God, except for that one time where someone commented "[General Penis] and his penises" and he responded by slowly covering his-- OKAY LET'S NOT GO THERE -- with the review packet for the exam.
We do learn things, we really do.
... really.

AND BEHOLD THE NAPOLEON JUNK. Well, I'm not going to circle it. No, it isn't his head. No, this isn't the actual painting. Someone Photoshopped the head, but it is otherwise intact.

IT'S UP CLOSE TOO! ... and as far as I can tell, this has been Photoshopped too. :D Not the vital "part", but the part where God is kind of poking Adam in the eye with a twig?

 This exam had an endearing, adorable little touch to it though - question 41, the bonus question, the epitome of important, important questions...

Q.41: Which high school history teacher in our school is the most handsome?
              a) General Penis,
              b) The-Teacher-That-Accidentally-Found-A-Porn-Site-When-
                  Trying-To-Look-Up-Tiannamen-Up-On-The-Projector-In-
                   Front-Of-His-Class ("accidentally", they all say),
              c) all of the above,
              d) none of the above.
Let's leave my answer to your imagination, shall we?

The Modern Languages: A name given to the truly fitting low standard language courses in international schools. Not to be a douche or anything, but truly, a French grade schooler could pwn Mnem in French (and she's in one of the highest possible classes that she's able to atm!), and a Chinese kindergarten kid could pwn my ass and feed little bits of me to the sharks with their Mandarin skills. Well, I had two exams in a row, one for Mandarin in the morning and one for Bahasa right after because it's a required course for graduation blah blah blah oh look I've started again.

No, this has nothing to do with Modern Languages. Just thought it was cute. AW WHALE EATING PERSON HEAD. :D

Chemistry: Nothing much to say except I came in... about 6 hours before the exam I was supposed to take? I needed to "study", after all no nonononononono I need social interaction halp halp HALP!!!!onewan111111o!1jO!!!1! Did you know? Saying "I want to do pharmaceuticals" in university can be misconstrued. ... there's a reason why 'in university' ain't in quotes, y'know?

Biology: Over to you, Mnem. 

              I drew the life of a vesicle in graphic novel format, and
              things just went downhill from there.

Advanced Algebra and Trigonometry: An intimidating class name that is as intimidating as it sounds I don't know what the fuck I'm doing halp halp halp shit I have the exam tomorrow raaaaaaaaaaah!

Screw logs.
Don't quote me out of context.
./goes into epileptic fits of misery and desperation but mostly procrastination  THE PROCRASTIREAPER 2000 HAS GOTTEN ME NOW. AAAAAARGH! Don't ask me why people in my imagination have the time and sadness to invent a Grim Reaper for procrastination.
Well, time for review.
./gloom

-Chronos "NO LEMME GO WAIIIIIII !!!!!WANONE!!!!11111!!!ON!EO!!!

P.S. Wtf?

Because I'm too tired to write a decent post II

Posted via email from The Ferret Gun

because I'm too tired to write a decent post

<br />see more Very Demotivational

~Mnem

Posted via email from The Ferret Gun

stuck in my NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA head

Posted via email from The Ferret Gun

~Mnem

Chronos likes cuts. Totally not awkward

~Mnem

[And so beginneth my policy of cross-posting everything I write from FG Posterous to FG Blogger, simply because I'm stubborn and loyal and constantly trying to one-up Chronos. Psych.]

Internet Browser Mashing

The ultimate equation regarding the use of internet browsers. Well, more like an inequality, but let us not go into technicalities, shall we?

Firefox + Google Chrome > Chicken Wings > Cheese > Flying Pigs > Knee High Socks > Dying in A Hole > Napoleon > Crap > Everything Else > Internet Explorer

I'll expand once I think of more *relevant* comparisons to use.
A certain cynical non-believer has finally risen from the darkness! Well, minus the fact that McAfee isn't automatically applicable in Google Chrome for some reason.

Yaah. Hi, I'm back. Been busy. I'll end the post now because I think the bell's going to ring soon (for school).
Will *add more substance* because I think Mnem will kill me for such a short return post. 

-Chronos

"Americans now must choose between a virtual strip search and a grope" says the ACLU

Well, it's between that and potential death, of course, but since people can only focus on the short-term versus long-term effects (think of teenagers who feel invincible when they pick up their first cigarette), the vague and hazy notion of being blown up in the skies trumps an uncomfortable patting session hands down. Idiots, the lot of them.

Quoth an unnamed security officer who has to perform these searches:

I come to work to do my job. It is not up to me to decide policy, it is up to me to carry out my duties as dictated by the Transportation Security Administration. When a person stands in front of me and calls me a pervert or accuses me of molesting them it is disheartening. People fail to understand that neither of us are happy about the intrusive pat down I am carrying out. I am polite, I am professional and while someone may not like what I have to carry out, they came to me because they choose not to utilize the alternative and less invasive method of security at my airport.

The "less invasive method" being full-body scanners which, predictably, have been publicly shunned due to paranoia over radiation and having your body bits splashed over a screen in glorious nonpixellated high def. Yep, still idiots. The first fear I can understand, or try to, but the second? Get over it! What do you think, that the supervising staff are somehow enjoying your ordeal? News flash, moron. One, you're probably not all that awesome to look at, and two, they're just doing their jobs. In case you haven't noticed here are hundreds of people passing through US airport scanners daily and if the officers found this task attractive in any way then they sure as hell don't now. I believe "desensitization" is the word. Except there's one thing they probably can't get desensitized to and that is the endless stream of whines and muttering and outright accusations (see quote above) that they are, in fact, "perverts" and molesters when they are only trying to do their job. Shame on you coddled self-righteous airline passengers. Get off your bloody high horse and be a little grateful and humble and flexible for once. If these people up and decided to leave you'd not be going anywhere and if you did there's a high chance you wouldn't make it because gee, guess what, no security checks means moar security threats for all. But of course, you'd just complain about that too...

Idiots. -shakes head-

The tl;dr here is that yon "virtual strip search" and "grope" are temporary discomforts compared to the slightly more permanent state of nonexistence brought upon ye in the event of having your plane knocked out of the sky, so shut up and deal with it. Jesus Christ on a bicycle, people, rein in the holier-than-thouness of your ego.

~Mnem

Mnem's new reading list. Brought to you by the BBC + dead white guys

Saw this in a friend's Facebook note, thought it looked cool, didn't dare make my own note about it 'cause she and I aren't really that close anymore and it woulda looked stalkerish, wanted to share it anyways, stole it with a fiendish laugh, deleted unnecessary line breaks and dumped it here. To wit, this is a list of 100 rather important books, of which the average person, according to the venerable British Broadcasting Corporation, has only read six. Six. For shame. There is something wrong with this generation.

Anyhoo, it is now my goal to finish reading through this list by the end of high school, which shouldn't be too difficult as a) I read like a maelstrom (case in point: finished Vonnegut's 302-page Hocus Pocus in roughly three hours last week) and b) I've already gone through quite a few of these books. Bolded Struck-out items have been read in full and italicized ones have been begun and then tossed aside or simply read in excerpt form. (And my own addition: underlined bolded ones are ones I really really reeeaaally want to read.) Feel free to snatch the list and vaunt your own literary accomplishments. No credit required, because it never was  mine anyways, but your soul would be nice.

Ho shet, a medieval story with snark

"War," said Joseph Hirkanos to the elephant. He spat on the grass ... "Bad for the Radanites."


"Not always," said his nephew, a would-be sharp operator who lacked for the satisfaction of his ambition only the quality of sharpness and who expended all of his energies, as far as Joseph could see, on preserving his opinions from contamination by experience.

Michael Chabon's Gentlemen of the Road concerns itself with tenth-century odd couple Zelikman (rail-thin, morbid, and given to slicing up passersby with an oversized bodkin) and Amram (a veritable giant of an ex-soldier with a pleasantly obscene Viking axe and a good hand at shatranj) and what adventures the two globe-trotting swindlers run into after attaching themselves to the quest of the fugitive Khazar prince, Filaq. It's a story liberally laced with elephants, Jews, black humour, and dead men, all of which combine to make--well, it's difficult to describe, but it's very good, so I shall just say that it combines to make a swashbuckling knit-up of elephants, Jews, black humour, and dead men that is more, much more, than the sum of its parts. Trust me: it's better than it sounds.

~Mnem

Random influx of adorable + unnecessary angst

On the one hand, I've noticed we haven't really been writing to this blog much. The days of 500-word postings with nary a picspam in sight seem to be over, replaced by pithy one-liners stacked underneath five-inch monstrosities (five inches is a lot on a website). There's a part of me that misses those days. I like writing. Pictures are nice too, I suppose, and all the cool kids are getting a Tumblr now--which caters to those who like to plaster their walls with pretty photos, tack on at best an artily sparse caption and then book it the hell out of there--but oh, oh, this isn't a Tumblr. Ain't a photo album neither and sometimes I worry that's what it's turning into. No, this is a blog, as in a web log, as in an online journal, as in an exchange diary, as in words. Words that we don't take the time and care to write anymore. There is something sad about that.

On the other hand, why worry when you can have a cute little hamster instead? Hehe.

~Mnem

-stareee-

Maybe not going to the party was a good idea after all. (Note: Brown is the same person here as in the previous picture. Pink does not know him. Not at all.)

I swear, Idul Fitri is starting to look positively tame compared to this.

~Mnem

Happy Thanksgiving! (unless you're a turkey)

I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner at Atlas' today. My first one, y'know? I've never celebrated a real honest-to-goodness say-grace carve-the-turkey count-the-children-afterwards American (well, mostly American)-style Thanksgiving dinner. I came this close to showing up. This close. And then I spent the better part of the afternoon in an infernal mood about not being allowed to attend, due to a parental embargo on anything involving Atlas, and said infernal mood lasted until I saw this.

I didn't quite know whether to laugh or cry--everyone in that convo except for Orange is a guy, by the way--so I settled for screenshotting it and trying very hard not to think about tablecloths for the next two and a half hours.

~Mnem

How to write a back-from-the-dead post in sixteen easy and somewhat accurately described sentences

Obligatory odd first sentence. Sarcastic second sentence. Thoughtful third sentence, and then apologetic fourth. Explanatory fifth sentence, expository sixth sentence, seventh sentence stuffed with excuses and half-meant promises to not do that again for a while. Eighth sentence negating seventh sentence and therefore crossed out for purposes of comedy. Ninth sentence completely deadpan.

And then, from out of the blue, the tenth sentence.

~Mnem- "And here we put a nonsensical phrase" -osyne

EDIT: Eleventh sentence as an inane afterthought. Twelfth sentence assuring readers of sanity. Thirteenth sentence making derogatory reference to twelfth. Fourteenth complaining about lack of sleep. Fifteenth signing off. Sixteenth... zzz...

Correct spelling and grammar pwns is better than cheese

But only slightly more so.

The gist of it is, I found this as somebody's userpic in a forum on GOS, and I honestly really like it right now. It's got pretty colours and crisp text and a long snark stick with which to poke random passers-by in the faux-pas-ridden street. First reaction: HOMG SOMEONE THINKS LIKE THAT TOO!!!1!!1!!!one! Second reaction: Haha, nice. Shot myself in the foot there.

-shoots rambling- Here be yon GIF.

Hohohoyes.

~Mnemosyne

Oh Facebook, you amuse me so

My friends, admittedly, are weird. But in my defense, their friends are weirder.

~Mnemosyne

I wouldn't give this up for all the cows in Holland

I went on a bit of a wallpaper-hunting spree today. Final body count: 31. (Damn you, National Geographic, for having such delicious beautiful photographs!)

(Note the second image in the bottom row. I predict mild trauma for those who open my laptop at inopportune moments.)

Ridiculous owl is ridiculous.

On another note, there's a disproportionate amount of pictures from cold, northerly places, such as Scotland and Canada. What can I say? I like frigid weather. Much more fun than hot weather and easier to counteract. By which I mean that when the temperature drops, you can just pile on some layers, but it doesn't really work the other way around: rising temperatures do not necessarily endorse removal of clothing.

... not entirely sure where I was going with that, but hey, have a village.

This would be the unbelievably quaint and lovely outcrop of Manarola, Italy. [insert adoration here]

5 MINUTES LATER

Gushing praise takes a lot of energy, so here's a parrot in a teacup and no context whatsoever.

One last caveat. I have my backgrounds set to change every ten minutes or so--one of the nifty little thrown-in features I love about Windows 7--and five minutes ago I was pleasantly surprised to minimize a window and find this staring me in the face.

Dutch cows + Dutch landscape + Dutch weather = global win.

~Mnemosyne

Commence Operation Meme!

Because I am sad and need a life and want to keep this thing alive without getting my hands too, too dirty. This is basically just a variation on the ever-popular iPod quiz game (pose a question and hit fast-forward in shuffle mode to get a nonsensical song-title-as-answer). More fun than it looks.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "ARE YOU OKAY" WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Ready -- Kelly Clarkson

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Welcome To Mystery -- Plain White T's

 (Mwahahahaha.)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
This Is Our Town -- We The Kings

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Always Running Out Of Time -- Motion City Soundtrack

(True.)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Don't Stop Me Now -- Queen

(Outta my way!)

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
The Birds They Put In Cages -- Tina Arena and Garou

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
She Had The World -- Panic! At The Disco

(Wondering if I should feel

threatened, flattered, or sad.)

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Night Drive -- The All-American Rejects

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
She Is -- The Fray

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Easy Tonight -- Five For Fighting

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Laziest Girl In Town -- Lisa Ekdahl

(Chronos: -enters room-

Mnem: -swivels-

Mnem: -SHING-

Chronos: o_O)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Real World -- The All-American Rejects

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
One Day -- Trading Yesterday

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Alright -- Five For Fighting

(Hehe.)

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Somebody Told Me -- The Killers

(YES.)

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?-
Why Worry -- The All-American Rejects

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Leave Out All The Rest -- Linkin Park

(Ostracizing people is a skill.)

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Pressure -- Paramore

(Not my biggest, but it's on the list.)

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Beautiful -- Trading Yesterday

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Like A Song -- Lenka

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Borodin: Prince Igor - Polovtsian Dances -- Neeme Järvi: Gothenburg Symphony Orchestra

(Fate is trying to tell me something.

If only I knew what...)

~Mnemosyne

Rumpelstilzchen with a dash of noir

It's fun to write. It's also fun to screw with old fairytales and make them new and fresh again. Ask Chronos, she should know. Politically correct bedtime stories anyone? (I fear for the sanity of her future children.)

Anyhoo, we had to try our hands at rewriting the introduction of Rumpelstiltskin in either epistolary or teen angst genre. Due to a few bad experiences involving novels with letterhead I decided to tackle teen angst. Couldn't be that bad, eh? After all, I'm a teenager. Should come naturally. Should. Funnily enough, it did, and the whole thing came spilling out with barely any blood along the way--although I think we may have lost a peasant here or there. (Pff. Peasants. Nobody gives a toff about them anyways. Er, what are you looking at, Chronos?)

Cue cut, because the "introduction" is massively long, at 793 words. And they only asked for 300. -snickers-

H-H-H-H-H-HOLY HELL!

... is an oxymoron.

Mnem, put the rifle down...

WE ALL LOVE THE LETTER 'H', don't we?

Horse, happy, hippopotamus, hippies, hip-hip-hooray, hell, heaven, hedgehog...

WE LOVE HEDGEHOGS TOO.

Eusebia's birthday is tomorrow, so all of our friends decided to pitch in and make a few letters that spelling out "H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y * * * * * ".

Yaa. I give you one sample. But that's only because it's the best one. (ALL THE OTHERS SUCK).

 

DID I MENTION I LOVE CRAFT PUNCHERS? 

On a saner note (yes, I am aware my FG posts have gradually gotten crazier), for a very fun, fun English assignment (for once), we have to rewrite Rumpelstiltskin in either a teen angst or letter / epistolary genre.

Since I like the LJ formatting for reading things, you may find HELL a link back there.

Nah, not really. 

-Chronos

Y not?

Mad: -slaps Mnem for the lame pun-

Jeez, sorry.

Our dear friend Eusebia is having her birthday tomorrow, and we've all ganged up to make a sort of shambly, highly individualized collage for her, consisting of a large hand-drawn mishmash of A4-sized letters that will somehow hopefully maybe perhaps WHO AM I KIDDING -bursts into tears- form the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY [EUSEBIA] in an easily tacked-up-on-the-rafters format. Cool yeh? Anyhoo, we all pulled our choice of dipthongs and I got the 'Y's (because, you know, they're a stick on a stick, how hard can it be? --I can tell you, plenty hard) and, because I am unpredictable and rambly and given to poking FerretGun with the Big Stick Of Excessively Wordy And/Or Otherwise Unnecessary Posts every once in a while, I figured you lot ("Welcome to FerretGun! Total Population: 0.4 because everyone ran away after we, uh, cut that one guy in half--and of course he got slightly moldy and bits started falling off") wouldn't mind seeing my lovely artwork either.

GAHAHAHA WHO AM I KIDDING?! Eheh, picspam followeth. If this were LJ I'd put it under a cut (I'd have to; isn't there a law that mandates this somewhere, for the safety of the casual browser?) but, since this is Blogger and the cuts are infinitely less awesome, you get them chucked at you no matter whether you want them or not. -depraved grin-

Oh, I'm such a nice little girl.

I hereby dub thee "Gothic Y".

EDIT: Maybe "Peacock Y" would be more appropriate?

And you shall be my "Collage Y" and you shall be mine, and you shall be my "Collage Y"!

... no, I ain't usually like this, but working with oil pastels has a bit of a giddying effect on me. Quite similar to the Crayon Effect sometimes observed in overstressed highschoolers. Present anybody over the age of fourteen with a pack of crayons and a clean sheet of paper and boom, you've got yourself an artistic manic-depressive right there. Fun stuff.

~Mnemosyne

Autism crackers, bad math, and existentialist jokes

And over there are the ADD pretzels,

right next to the schizophrenia beer.

Marketing people are sneaky buggers.

I want. I get. I happy.

~Mnem

Laik whut?

So I'm on our Stats page, idly browsing through the referral links (because I'm just morbid like that), when I come across this.

Out of curiosity, I clicked on the URL. Took me to some renovating site written up completely in Russian. (Yeah, Mnem, as if the .ru kept it a massive secret.) Off to the ever-reliable **coughNOTcough** Google Translate, which very kindly ran the webpage through with the fine-edged blade **coughHAHAcough** of computerized translation for me. It didn't make much more sense in English. Couldn't find a single referring link either. Someone out there is pulling strings, but the .ru is making me nervous, because Chronos once had this period of about two months when she would randomly spam a link to somebar.ru in her MSN conversations with me. That URL led to a website which made a neat business out of glomming worms (the invasive, cybertronic, borderline illegal ones) to the computers of hapless visitors. Bottom line is, don't trust a website what looks like it has nothing whatsoever to do there. The Internet is a scary place.

So, lesson here is:

-yawns-

The lesson is: ...

-rubs eyes-

The lesson to be learnt is--

-slumps over-

~Mnem- "zzz" -osyne

The First Award to Be Given Out--!

I could have done a better job. :(

EDIT: Lies. --Mnem

BUT HERE YOU GO MNEM!

The Ferret Gun, its family and its affliates proudly presents you with

THE SIGNATURE OF ACHIEVEMENT

For singlehandedly keeping Ferret Gun afloat with constant posting.

We all appreciate it when you put in extra effort when Chronos goes on strike to reach our goal!



A specially made signature to recognize your achievement! (You don't have to use it.)

Just recognizing your awesomeness. Seriously, thanks for all those extra posts!

-Chronos, the Ferret Gun family, and those other people who sponsor us but not really.
(+ extraneous formatting by Mnem. Who says "D'awww thankyou :)" to everything above.)

Ce que nous appelons une rose by any other name akan bau wangi, pt II

I like languages.

In particular, I am fond of French (have been studying it for four years, Norwegian (can't understand a word, can pronounce written text fairly accurately), and Dutch (ik hou van der Nederlandse taal and yes I had to use Google Translate to come up with that). And English is always good for poking around in the linguistic end of things; but in terms of pure fascination, nothing except maybe Russian. And Basque. Because nobody but Russians and the Basque understand Russian and Basque beats a constructed language. There's all this debate about humans deluding themselves that they are God by taking other people's lives in their hands, or daring to synthesize new life--how come there isn't a single murmur over the slow, systematic resurrection of the Tower of Babel?

Don't get me wrong, mind. I'm not saying that there should be a big fuss over the creation of new languages. In fact, I think it's wonderful that there are attempts being made to bridge the linguistic divide. Lack of a common means of discourse is quite possibly the number one obstacle behind world peace, because interpreters are only human and subtle shades of meaning are inevitably lost in the shift from one language to another. The creation of a universal "second language", to be learnt after and in complement to one's native tongue, is an admirable goal. I do not think it will ever be accomplished but it is nevertheless an admirable goal to strive for.

And in light of that, here is the Lord's prayer in four different constructed languages and one natural, arranged roughly by level of popularity--but with English last because I would like to challenge the reader to make some sense of the transcriptions before reading the actual text. (Hint: It helps if you know a Romance language such as Spanish or French. Like srsly. They're all totally Eurocentric here.)

Esperanto:

Patro nia, kiu estas en la ĉielo,
sanktigata estu Via nomo.
Venu Via regno.
Fariĝu Via volo,
kiel en la ĉielo, tiel ankaŭ sur la tero.
Nian panon ĉiutagan donu al ni hodiaŭ.
Kaj pardonu al ni niajn ŝuldojn,
kiel ankaŭ ni pardonas al niaj ŝuldantoj.
Kaj ne konduku nin en tenton,
sed liberigu nin de la malbono.

Interlingua:

Nostre Patre, qui es in le celos,
que tu nomine sia sanctificate;
que tu regno veni;
que tu voluntate sia facite
super le terra como etiam in le celo.
Da nos hodie nostre pan quotidian,
e pardona a nos nostre debitas
como nos pardona a nostre debitores,
e non duce nos in tentation,
sed libera nos del mal.

Ido:

Patro nia, qua esas en la cielo,
tua nomo santigesez;
tua regno advenez;
tua volo facesez
quale en la cielo tale anke sur la tero.
Donez a ni cadie l'omnidiala pano,
e pardonez a ni nia ofensi,
quale anke ni pardonas a nia ofensanti,
e ne duktez ni aden la tento,
ma liberigez ni del malajo.

English:

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
But deliver us from evil.

Out of the four above, I'd have to say my favourite is Interlingua, most probably because it is the one that resembles French the most. Esperanto has a bit of an alien feel to it (WTF did they get the little hats circonflexes from anyways?) and Ido is like the poor man's Esperanto (hatless, as it were), but Interlingua strikes a fine balance between familiarity and WTF is going on here. Could I learn it? Probably. Could you? Eh, probably. As stated before the odds are in your favour if you have some experience of a Romance language beforehand. However, these languages were constructed precisely so people from many varying linguistic backgrounds could come together underneath a single system of speech and writing. I'm pretty sure it's feasible.

What I find most telling, though--and perhaps a little touching--, is that the word "Esperanto" literally means "hopeful". Ludwig Lazarus Zamenhof was a Russian-Jewish ophthalmologist whose childhood in the culturally segregated town of Bialystok inspired him to create a Lingwe uniwersala that would, he decided, foster harmony between cultures and bring the world closer together. There is something fresh about his language. It has today about 300 000 speakers, which may not exactly fulfill the criteria for total world domination  "universal second language" quite yet, it's the one with the best chance, and I solemnly salute the dedication of the many towards this dream of a more open future.

Now if only it were to get rid of those stupid hats.

~Mnem

D'AWWWWWWW.

LOOKIE HERE MNEM, LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

Slightly terrifying, but perhaps something Mnem would like.

I HEREBY DUB THIS HYBRID CREATURE A ROWL. Or an Owlbit. Eh. Whatever catchy combining of the names grabs your fancy.

-Chronos

LOOK! LOOK OVER HERE!

... what? Why are you looking in this direction?

There's nothing to see here. Shoo, shoo shoo.

Fwahahaha, with this, we only have 5 posts left to write--

YOU

SAW

NOTHING.

THIS

IS

ABSOLUTELY

NOT,

IN

ESSENCE,

A

STALL

POST.

STALL POST?! WHERE?!

-Chronos

Huhwaitwhat? Vol III: Instant Messenger of Doom - March Archives -The Epileptic Inks -

Mnem's head on a stick. [by Chronos]

Chronos' head on a stick. [by Mnemosyne]

The gluestick mascot. [by Chronos]

(Apparently) Chronos in a paper bag. [by Chronos]

(Apparently) Chronos in a paper bag version 2.0. [by Chronos]

Guy with an abnormally large nose looking over a wall. [by Mnemosyne]

Mnemosyne before car accident. [by Chronos]

"Chronos is inside the jail, I am outside it." [by Mnemosyne]

Humpty Dumpty (or some random yellow potato resembling him) on a wall. [by Chronos]

Another rendition of "Who is In the Jail Cell?" [by Chronos]

Yet another rendition of "Who is In the Jail Cell?". [by Mnemosyne]

Mnemosyne in the midst of a rough storm / the blue flames of hell. [by Chronos]

-Chronos

(+ additional formatting by Mnem)

Ce que nous appelons une rose by any other name akan bau wangi, pt I

NEWS FLASH: Bahasa Indonesia has no past tense.

Why yes, I did just figure this out after speaking it (as a second language) for the past ten years.

kdfjlglkjfdg;klj ← Ignorant Mnem is ignorant.

Or, as Chronos would say, "VLA VLA VLA VLA VLA VLA VLA VLA VLA FISH. YES, FISH. YOU ARE A FISH. I AM A FISH. VLA VLA VLA. FISH."

~Mnem- "Just kill me now and get it over with" -osyne

RE: XCXXVII

I got curious today and started wondering what XCXXVII (see prev. post) actually meant. Looked up a Roman to Arabic numerals converter on Google, went to CalculateMe.com's converter page, plugged in the offending digits, and was promptly told off for having bad form.

"XCX is not correct syntax. Replace with C."

Yes, I did just get burned by an online service.

My little mind, she is blown.

~Mnemosyne

PS. CXVII = 117.

Total Cop-Out XCXXVII CXVII: The Demotivational Edition

Sounds just like Chronos. Note to self: do not ask that girl to cheer you up unless all windows in the vicinity have been safely secured.

Touché.

True that. I absolutely cannot stand the kid. (Yes, I know he's technically older than me, but how come I can sing deeper than he does?)

Robin: -facepalm-

Billboards never lie, yo, especially if they're the rearrangeable kind.

-cuteness readings go through the roof-

THE HAT

OMFG

THE OWL

LOLOL

THE LEGS

BUT IT'SH SHO SHMAAAAALL

D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW -boom-

~Mnem- "-drifts gently back to earth in little pieces-" -osyne