Encounters of the self-sim kind, part I

There has been a resurgence of interest in Sims 2 amongst Chronos and myself lately. However, when I say "interest", I do not in any way mean to imply that we are up to the same brands of digital mischief. She is content with doing healthy, normal things like raising families and stranding random townies in 4x4 swimming pools. I, on the other hand, occupy myself with poking innocent pixels into looking a little less like Joe Q. Public and a little more like (le gasp) us. Not healthy. Not healthy at all. But perhaps a little normal.

The term is "self-sim" (alternative titles referencing narcissism, egotism, and lack of adequate attention during childhood were vetoed by the early gaming community), and quite frankly I do not understand the need for such things. If you want to look at yourself, go grab a mirror. If you want to have your dream home, go build it. If you want to juggle seven relationships at once, reach the top of the military career and cook breakfast in the buff, then there's nothing stopping you from doing that, except perhaps federal laws and a little thing called family honour. But I digress. A self-sim is unnecessary. And Mnemosyne is a colossal hypocrite, because she just spent a good forty-five minutes making not one but two self-sims, although she pleads leniency due to the fact that only one of them was of her.

Prepare for retinal damage, people.

"Aw, that ain't too bad!" Well, yes, I suppose, apart from the fact that she looks nothing like me. There's the face structure, or lack of it, and the weird skintone. Shiny? Really? Wtf was I thinking when I grabbed this? The phrase I've heard used before is "buttered ham", and in retrospect they were on to something. Real people don't look like that unless they have some sort of frog gene therapy going on. It ain't so bad here because I hid it up in long sleeves and trousers (incidentally, I do this in real life too, although there is the need to make clear that I do not resemble any sort of oiled meat in my day-to-day wanderings), but it damn near comes close to glowing in the freaking dark. (Hey, wait a minute...)

The hairstyle I can refrain from chucking out the window, except for the barrette (barrettes steal your soul when you're not looking). The clothes are somewhat similar to what I would like to wear IRL provided the weather allowed for it, which it most patently does not, living as we do in Southeast Asia. Final verdict: horrible. Onwards ho.

OMGWTFBBQ IT'S CHRONOS! THE HILLS! RUN FOR THEM!

LOLJK don't hurt me please. -shrinks back into chair-

This is my attempt at Chronos, as you may or may not have inferred from the all-caps up there. Words cannot express how un-Chronos this Sim is. The face! It does not resemble her face at all! It's as if I have never seen her by the light of anything more substantial than a dying firefly on his last milliwatt of strength! The hair! It does not resemble her hair at all! By the gods, it's as if this isn't Chronos at all, but a badly made, totally unreferenced, I haven't-actually-seen-her-since-Friday unwarranted selfsim... owait. Owait, yeah, it is.

-makes face-

She does wear clothes like that sometimes, though, which is the only point I will allow. Usually when she sleeps. No, I do not watch her when she sleeps. Not often. I mean... never. :B Never, yeah, never. She snores Would I lie to you?
Chronos: Yes.

Oh shut up and go away and let me work on these abominations in peace.

~Mnemosyne