Chronos' Guide to Feeling Like Absolute Crap

Is this the first time anyone has posted a guide? -glances around FerretGun- Well, since I don't see any disoriented guides walking around like they're drunkards... oh wait, there-- no, never mind, that's Mnem. Stumbling around the snow-capped wastes of purgatory trying to search for an idea. I don't blame her. -shrug- Our inspirational spark kind of died when we started school, y'know? In any case, back on topic! Here, I shall give you tips on how to feel like absolute crap when you wake up!
WARNING: Do not try this unless you are certain you can wake up sane the next day.

1.Point your air conditioner straight at yourself and set it at the lowest temperature possible. This is so you can freeze your ass off. If you don't have an air conditioner, drop a couple of ice cubes down your shirt you can just use a fan set to the highest speed, be it a ceiling fan or... not?

 "And I thought that was just a figure of speech!"

Yeah, so did I man, so did I..

2. Avoid taking a shower until late at night (preferably after your parents or your roommate / friend yell at you), saying you had 'better things to do', most of which involve your laptop or any electronic device (studying is not an advisable distraction). 

 Yeah, you'd better be goddamn sorry.

3. Do whatever you can to keep yourself awake until you begin feeling sleepy. In such a case, move your laptop / electronic device to your bed and continue using it until you feel ready to pass out. Meanwhile, download something simultaneously so you can force yourself to stay up until it finishes downloading (anything over 200mb will do).

 Bah. Pick up line that went obsolete millenia ago.

4. Throughout the day (before you hibernate and hide out in your room), make sure to eat a whole bunch of shet that you know seriously screws up your throat and nose (deep fried hormone laced fast food for the win! No, I am not taking that back. Sue me.). 

 Just like eveeeeeery other person.

5. Leave your homework to the last minute or ditch it all together! Yeah, fine, you will probably feel less bored, but come the next day... well, you are totally fu- ahem, screwed. You are totally screwed. Make sure you have level headed teachers with level headed classmates who will have a slight sense to hold the teacher back when he or she lunges at you with a very sharp carving knife. :)

Gawddam, there were a lot of good pictures for this! This picture just ended up loading the fastest.

SEE?! I MADE IT A VISUAL LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR YOU! HA. TOP THAT!

-Chronos