Yeah, I lied. I'm quite sure you can already see it this early on in the post. If you didn't, damn. Imagine the last two sentences struck out. I never said anything.
Come, let us play the blame game again. This is based on an actual dialogue.
Chronos' Cousin 1 (on MSN): Hey, do you want to go out to the mall?That's my life in a nutshell.
Chronos (on MSN): Why?
Chronos' Cousin 1 (on MSN): I'm bored. So, yes or no?
Chronos (on MSN): Sure, why not. I have to kill time to wait for my game to finish patching anyway.
Chronos' Cousin 1 (on MSN): Cool, see you in a bit. (logs out)
-After the MSN conversation...-
Chronos: (sitting in front of her computer)
Chronos' Cousin 2: (opens the door) Hello. What the hell are you doing in front of the computer?
Chronos: Um. Using it?
Chronos' Cousin 2: When my brother said see you in a bit, he meant it! Hurry up, change!
Chronos: Okay. (lethargically stands up, glances at the screen for five more seconds) (is halfway up the stairs) Oh. Wait. Have you had lunch yet?
Chronos' Cousins 1 & 2: NO! That's why we're telling you to hurry up!
Chronos: Okay, okay! (rushes)
-After Chronos changes and leaves the house...-
Chronos (walking to the mall next door): So, what are we doing?
Chronos' Cousin 2: Arcade.
Chronos: Yay! Wait, are we only doing that because we have nothing better to do?
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: Yeah, pretty much.
Chronos: ... oh... kay. What's for lunch?
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: Sushi.
Chronos: ... ah, okay, sushi. Wait, you bastards! The day I eat lunch early, you decide to go eat sushi?!
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: (laughing)
Chronos: Fk it. I need my sushi intake. (disregards full stomach and goes to eat anyway)
-Going to the sushi place...-
Chronos' Cousin 2: Alright, so we're going to put the plates separately. We're paying for however much we eat this time ourselves.
Chronos: About time. I was broke the last time I treated [Cousin 2's friend] and you! I am not treating you again.
Chronos' Cousin 2: Aww, but your parents are so rich--
Chronos: Screw you!
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: (laughing)
-After some eating...-
Chronos: Can I go over to the other sushi belt and snatch the one that I want that isn't rotating on ours? I NEED MY GODDAMN EEL.
-After some eating...-
Chronos: So, are we going to the arcade first or do you want to go downstairs?
Chronos' Cousin 2: How about we go up to the arcade first and then go downstairs?
Chronos: (shrug) (heads up to the arcade)
-After the arcade...-
Chronos: Alright! Time to go downstairs for some ice cream!
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: I thought you weren't hungry.
Chronos: ...
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: ROFLMAO.
Chronos' Cousin 2: I want chicken wings.
-After going downstairs...-
Chronos: Holy crap now I don't know whether I want a strawberry sundae from McDonalds or a root beer float from A&W! Hey, [Cousin 1], flip a coin! I don't want what happened at the arcade the other day to happen again. {Refer to this post for details}
Chronos' Cousin 1: (laughing) (drops the coin) (looks at the coin) Heads. Ice cream.
Chronos: That doesn't count! You dropped it. Flip it again!
Chronos' Cousin 1: (flips) (looks at the coin) Tails. Root beer float.
Chronos: Awright! -heads over to the nearby A&W. (notices the station is empty) What the fawk?
Chronos' Cousin 2's Boyfriend: No one's here. (heads back to McD for ice cream)
Chronos: This is shitty service! I demand compensation!
-A bite of ice cream and chicken later...-
Chronos' Cousin 1 (at the entrance of the mall): We still have time. Want to go to Toys 'R Us?
Chronos: (has her foot halfway out the door) Sure, why not?
-After ascending the escalator for 3 levels...-
Chronos: (grabs a toy plushie hammer) (whacks Cousin 1 in the shoulder) (hammer makes a glass shattering sound)
Chronos' Cousin 1: What the hell? (grabs a hammer)
(hammer war ensues)
Chronos' Cousin 2 (in the board game section): I was thinking about buying a board game. Probably Twister. But they don't have Twister.
Chronos: (very clearly spots a Twister) Uh... there's one here.
Chronos' Cousin 2: Oh. I missed that. How much?
Chronos: RM59. But I think if you buy it, you won't have space to play it.
Chronos' Cousin 2: How big's the mat?
Chronos: (proceeds with an abstract demonstration of the mat's size)
Chronos' Cousin 2: How about we look for another board game then? (spots Monopoly City) Oooh. (picks up box) IT HAS ELECTRONIC BANKING. (hugs box) I want it! (looks at price tag) Damn. (gingerly puts it back)
Chronos: You know, if we combine money we can buy it. Probably. Except then we'd be broke, which would soon be followed by an ass-kicking from our parents. Mostly my mom.
Chronos' Cousin 2: What if we call someone to pay for it?
Chronos: ... my mom, right?
Chronos' Cousin 2: (gingerly lends phone to Chronos)
Chronos: (dials Mom's number) (hyperventilates) (reaches voice mail box) (sigh of relief)
Chronos' Cousin 2: I don't think this is such a good idea... (feels slightly guilty) Let's go.
-After the merry band leaves Toys 'R Us...-
Chronos: (manages to get through to her mom's phone) Uh, h-hi Mom. W-where are you right now? Home? Yeah. Okay, can you do us a big favor? [Cousin 2] and everyone else, we want this new board game-- it's called Monopoly. It has this new thing that makes it different from everything else. ...it costs RM169. Yeah, it's expensive, I know. ... what, you're coming over? Okay. Okay, we'll meet you at the entrance, bye.
Chronos' Cousin 2: Shit. (entire troupe of people feel guilty) Right, we'll go downstairs again to buy some biscuits to bribe our grandmother with. You stay here with [Cousin 1] and wait for your mom.
Chronos and Chronos' Cousin 1: (gulp)
-After failing to find a good hiding spot...-
Chronos: U-uh, h-hi, Mom.
Mom: (in an amused voice) You're really smart, you know? You're broke and then you call me over to pay for it.
Chronos and Chronos' Cousin 1: (nervous laugh)
Mom: So? Where's the board game?
Chronos: Well, first we have to wait for [Cousin 2] and [Cousin 2's Boyfriend].
-After the Biscuit Bribe has been bought...-
Chronos' Cousin 2: H-hi, Auntie. On second thought, we don't want the board game, it's okay...
Mom: Hm? Do you want to buy the board game or not?
Entire Mall Group: ... (glancing at each other guiltily)
Mom: -ascends escalator-
Entire Mall Group: (thinks) Shit.
-After entering that place with the weird giraffe mascot and finding the board game...-
Mom: (takes board game to the cashier) (pays for with credit card)
Chronos: (sneaks behind Mom) H-hi Mom. Are you mad? Is there something I can do to not make you mad at me?
Mom: ... well, you could talk to me more often.
Chronos: R-right! Okay! I'll talk to you for one hour every single day! I'll talk and talk to you until you're sick of it!
Mom: (amused smile) (hands the board game to Chronos) Okay? Is that it? I'm going to go now. Bye.
-After Mom leaves and we are all in Cousin's 2 car to visit her house-
Note: The yelling portion is done jokingly.
Chronos' Cousin 2 (whilst driving): Okay, so, who are we going to blame here?
Chronos: I BLAME [COUSIN 1]. HE'S THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED TO GO TO TOYS 'R US.
Chronos' Cousin 1: WHAT?!
Chronos' Cousin 2: I BLAME YOU. YOU CALLED YOUR MOM.
Chronos: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SUGGESTED IT!
Chronos' Cousin 2: NO I DIDN'T. YOU TOOK MY PHONE AND CALLED HER.
Chronos: Yeah, after you said we should ask someone else to pay!
Chronos' Cousin 2: Yeah, okay, let's blame [Cousin 2's Boyfriend]!
Cousin 2's Boyfriend: ?! (starts tickling Cousin Two whilst she's driving)
Chronos (is sitting in the front): HOLY SHIT DON'T TICKLE HER I DON'T WANT TO DIE YOUNG.
Chronos' Cousin 2: (is laughing until her sides hurt and tears are coming out of her eyes)
Chronos: Oh fk. BUT ANYWAY. I BLAME [COUSIN 1]. HE SUGGESTED THE MALL TRIP.
-After much continuous 'arguing'...-
Chronos' Cousin 2: (opens the door to their house) (sees their mother inside)
(The Mall Troupe walk in and simultaneously burst into laughter)
Chronos' Cousins' Mother: (Wtf expression)
-Chronos
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