Ferret Gun: 「友達の交換日記」: Another List of Epic Retardation Under the IQ of 70

Monday, 6 September 2010

Another List of Epic Retardation Under the IQ of 70

@ Mnem: WHAT? YOU TOLD ME TO WRITE SOMETHING. I WROTE SOMETHING.

That aside. I had a brain slug attached to my brain, like so.

Of course, the ever reliable husband and wife team, Mad and Omu, banded together to blast it off with a particle cannon. Took a large chunk of my skull with it. Needed a while to regenerate.
Okay. List, list, list. The Kraken (whom you will neeeeever know...) assigned a special, mandatory, vital, important mission - ... TO FIND ALL THE SPORTS THAT WOULD BE DISASTROUS IF SYNCHRONIZED. Chronos is back, baby! :D
Note: I will not explain how they are funny nor provide pictures (unless informational). You must use your...
IMAGINATION
like Spongebob.

DEAR GOD I'VE PLAYED THE SPONGEBOB CARD. PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS TIME LEFT TO SALVAGE THE REMAINING CHILDREN.

1. Dwarf Throwing
DO NOT EVEN ASK. Not a fake article, for your information. Apparently people still do it. The UN Commission of Human Rights supposedly ruled that this wasn't discriminatory against... well, dwarfs.

2. Camel Racing

Well, if there's dog racing and horse racing, why not throw in a camel?

3. Sumo Wrestling
YES, I'M QUITE SURE THIS IS SELF-EXPLANATORY.

4. Unicycle Trials
Ride on a unicycle over obstacles without any part of your body touching the ground, like so. Pretty extreme. One person falls, they all fall.

5. Bungee Jumping
Do a few fish impressions with a zoomed camera and you're a winner... plus the next celebrity of YouTube.

6. Zorbing
"Help! I'm a human in what appears to be a giant inflatable ball that strangely looks like a golf ball!" That scream hamster to you? Do a few tumbles and you've got the job.

7. Sport Fishing
My my, what would happen if that hook went into someone else's lip...?
... Denny Crane. He's holding a shotgun and a.... well, guess what's in his other hand. This is why you don't let the wealthy get competitive.