Tuesday 31 August 2010

Are those wedding bells that I hear?


Says it all, really.

~Mnem- "NNNNNNNNNNNNN DON'T WANNA BE THE PRIEST(ESS)" -osyne

Huhwaitwhat?

-blank look-

Well, since Chronos is not making any sense, I will throw GIMP at her to see if she wakes up. -grin- That, and I got distracted by the watermelons when posting a few nights back and neglected to foist my image upon ye. Shame on you all for not reminding me! -tsk tsk-

Anyhoo, here it is. Try not to run screaming from the room. It gets boring after the fifth time.


A quote from a book I'm reading right now. I swear I'm in love with Philip Marlowe. (Confused? --Well, suck it. Go look him up, I'm too lazy busy to write up a summary. -sunny smile-)

~Mnemosyne

OMFG I MISSED OUR FERRET GUN ANNIVERSARY DATE AND FORGOT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Post splurge time!

Because our pride is on the line. -italicizes- Our frickin' pride is on the frickin' line! Do you hear me? Do you hear me?! YOU'D'A BETTER BE HEARING ME! I CAN'T GET ANY MORE INSISTENT THAN THIS!

DAMN, MY CAPS/ITALICS/BOLD IS STUCK.

WHAT WAS I SAYING?

OH, YES. THAT WE ARE GOING TO SPLURGE ON POSTS TODAY BECAUSE OUR PROFESSIONAL PRIDE IS ON THE LINE. WELL, IT WOULD BE IF WE HAD ANY. OR IF WE EVEN HAD A LINE. MAD ATE IT. -shoots look at penguin- YES, YOU. SPIT OUT THE FISHING TACKLE. -penguin looks back coolly-

BAH, I KNEW IT WOULDN'T WORK.

-penguin chortles-

SHUDDUP, YOU FLIGHTLESS HOMICIDAL BIRD.

-Omu stalks past-

OH GOD, NOT YOU TOO.

-Omu and penguin turn around in unison and fix her with a frigid flightless avian stare-

... YOU CAN'T SEE IT, BUT I AM SCARED AS SHET RIGHT NOW.

-Omu bares teeth-

...

-penguin readies particle cannon-

YEAH, CHRONOS, GREAT IDEA. "MAD'S BORED ALL THE TIME. WHAT SHOULD I GET HIM? OH, I KNOW! A PARTICLE CANNON!" SMOOTH, GIRL. REAL SMOOTH. THANKS FOR DOOMING US ALL.

-various small bulbs on the cannon begin glowing-

IF I GET OUT OF THIS, I AM GOING TO WRING CHRONOS' SCRAWNY--

~Mnem- "-disintegrates-" -osyne

Sunday 29 August 2010

1. Title is not in capitals (Or, A Point-By-Point Rebuke Rebuttal Response To The Previous Post)

2. -directs to picture-
3. -crosses off "Space Ejection"- The list of ways to dispose of you is getting shorter by the hour.
4. Uncapitalize 'Aliens'.
5. The way your diagram reads, you began life as a school...
6. Capisce.
7. When there is only a nanometer between yourself and a DVD, the laws of physics begin to fold in on themselves and you will find yourself irresistibly drawn to the "open" button on the remote.
8. Staller.
9. Spammer.
9. Spammer.
9. Spammer.
9. Spammer.
9. Spammer.
9. Spammer.
9. Spammer.
10. -guilty look-
11. YOU HAD RIBS.

~Mnem- "12. Comma between wait and what" -osyne

Post that is Supposed to Help Us Keep the Post Count Above the Date and is Simultaneously a Distraction for Chronos from her Stupidly Hard Tech Assignment -- Ooh, Long Post Title! All in Capitals Too!

DON'T YOU LECTURE ME ABOUT PROCRASTINATING.
DON'T YOU LECTURE ME ABOUT YELLING TOO.
Blah blah blah. Well, Chronos has died and then revived and then died again and then broke herself out of a coffin ejected into space to float for infinity. How I came back, you do not need to know. You probably don't WANT to know, anyway (think Aliens!).
And this is why we couldn't post -- well, Mnem has made two major contributions in the past week or so while I was still... going through my, ah, cycles of reincarnation?

1) School.
2) Chronos' Subsequent Space Floating Expedition
3) Mnem's Trek to Hell (which oddly contains a large amount of cube shaped watermelons)
4) Chronos

Chronos is on the list because Chronos is the reason that Chronos could not post. Got it? (I would say 'Capice' or something, but I have absolutely no clue how to spell it and am too lazy to look it up now).
Boston Legal is great. So is Leverage. But Boston Legal is like the Leverage of the present.  
But beware! People terrified of that three letter word that starts with s, ends with x, and has an e squeezed in between them should keep at least a nanometer between them and the DVD / TV.
I'm really just going off on a tangent, aren't I? I'll probably whack the publish post button as soon as I'm done adding the tags then comb through it to look for grammatical mistakes. Which I still need to do to my English analytical paragraph about a poem. Joy.
Blah blah blah.
I can't think of anything...
I'm not stalling. Why do you think I'm stalling?
Spam.
Spam.
Spam.
Spam.
Spam.
Spam.
Spam.
Say, did anyone sneak some liquor into my mocktail at Tony Romas today?
Ribs.
Nom nom.
Huhuhuhuhu.

-Chronos 'Over and out over the cheesy rainbow into the leprechaun pot filled with elves. Wait what?'

Friday 27 August 2010

Watermelon heaven hell

My internet went and sat in a corner all day muttering about blue-eyed angels so I apologize for not getting much done. I also apologize in advance for inflicting another piece of shoddy GIMPage (lameness new word alert!) on your poor overtaxed eyes. I really need to start writing a post. An actual post, not an excerpted post, and defiti defnit definitely (lack of sleep, huh) not one with an image attached that will skroo wiv j00r BRAINZ (oh God, definitely lack of sleep), but a real, honest-to-goodness sit-down-and-and-write-it-for-half-an-hour-straight post. Which may or may not concern watermelons. Have you seen those things? If I wanted a weakly flavoured pulp of water and miscellaneous crunchy bits I'd put wrapping paper in a blender. I hate watermelons. They don't like me much either.

OH, THE HUGE MANATEE BOX-SHAPED WATERMELON!

Seriously though, I hate watermelons. I walked with Atlas from one after-school club to another last Thursday and he insisted on going to the cafeteria cafetaria caff for a watermelon juice. Of all the things he could have gotten, he went for a friggin' watermelon juice?! Yes, I love Atlas very much. He's like the jerkass older brother I never had (thank God). But he dropped a notch in my eyes when he picked up that juice. -silently strangles a fruit- Nevermind that you can't strangle things with no necks. Or maybe you can...? -eyes Omu-

Nah, that doesn't count, she's practically all neck. -Omu fluffs feathers threateningly- What? It's true.


I mean... uh... not that it's not a very nice neck... um...

What was I saying? Oh, yes, that I dislike watermelons. Horrible watery fruit. You know what the scary thing is though? They're taking over the friggin' world. Seriously. You've got--you've got watermelon scarves:

"All the better to strangle you at the first opportune (read: windy) moment with."

And watermelon faces:

"All the better to give you strangely fruity nightmares with."

And watermelon hearts:

"All the better to finally confirm your significant other's longstanding belief that you view Valentines' day gift giving more as a chance to get back at them for all the times they gave you crappy candy heart-a-grams with."

And even watermelon chairs:

"All the better to glomp your ass with."

What part of "we are fking screwed, go out in a pickup and raze the first watermelon farm you see" don't you understand, people?!

~Mnemosyne

Wednesday 25 August 2010

Mnem is feeling really bad about not posting actual posts, but is too lazy to write anything, so has decided to inflict random passages from random stories (all her own) with the intent of fooling you into thinking that she actually wrote something this time (yay! I mean... uhh... wait, what?)

Self-explanatory, really. Or maybe not. Look, just keep reading.

-------------
"Tick. Time passes. Like candle wax, melting in its own heat, so humanity will end.
Tick. Time passes. And with every moment the end comes nearer.
Tick.

Tick.
***

There is a land, similar to our own, where they make watches. The careful reader may make suppositions; the curious reader may look it up; the cynical reader may laugh at the clumsy pastiche of a real place. The good reader reads on. Careful, now; time is passing. When the hourglass runs out, so do we.

There is a land, similar to our own, where they make watches. A land where the snow moves only in high summer, where the bells ring twice, where the people move like melancholy machines, imbued with the precision and dullness of their creations. They suffer, reader, from Chronic Chronology: in a life so ordered by time, a life built around that very thing, the rest of it has lost all meaning. They see the end every day, help it pass with every movement of their hands. Tick. Time passes; these people make it so.

They make the watches, reader, they make the clocks. They pull the steel bars into delicate hands and polish the crystal caps till they shine. They painstakingly slot together every single gear and wheel and spring and then test it, a hundred times over, to ensure its accuracy. It is said that a watch from this land will lose a hundredth of a second every hundred years—that is to say, it will be many eons before an owner of the watch notices some irregularity. This makes these watches somewhat popular with the immortal gods and mortal humans alike.

And yet these people have lost their joy. Their clockwork is beautiful; the ticking of the second hand is like the beating of a heart, steady and precise, always. But in measuring time, they have fallen underneath it and drowned. Time means everything and nothing to them. Silently, diligently, they wait for the End.

--from "Time" (working title)
-------------
"Unholy," I breathed. It looked just like a giant--

"Hee-haw!"

The donkey cantered away with a definite glint in its eye; Rose screamed a little and went to fetch it.

I turned back to Natalie, who was shaking her head at the tower. "It doesn't matter how many times I see it, the sheer audacity of the thing always gets me wondering."

"I know," I agreed. "Why do you think he built it that way?"

"Who knows," she shrugged. "Maybe he has a complex or something. Current thinking is actually that's he's got a very small one and is trying to make up for it."

I whistled. "He didn't need to make it so ... so ... dammit, what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Ostentatious?" she grinned.

"Yeah," I said. "It didn't need to be so fugging large."

Rose huffed up behind us, golden curls askew. "No donkey," she said cheerfully, grabbing Natalie's arm with one hand and mine with the other. "C'mon, let's go."

Above us, the gigantic Old Man's Tower loomed in all its moustache-shaped glory.

--from "Crazy With a Chance of Murder"
-------------
"Don't be so cynical. It's unbecoming for a girl your age."

"You don't know anything about girls my age."

"On the contrary. I once knew very much about a young lady quite as old as you--wonderful eyes--"

Rick rounded on him. "What happened to my sister?"

Jan held up his hands. "I did not do anything to her."

"Then where is she?"

He looked away.

"Where is she? What have you done to her?"

"Watch your tone!" Jan snapped. "I did nothing to your sister. I never harmed her in any way. I never met her. All I know of her is what your father told me--and what I found myself."

"Dad would never tell you anything about Reine. He wouldn't even tell the police."

"It's amazing what a few beers will do to a man's moral scruples," Jan said, with some asperity.

"You did not," Rick hissed.

"I did. I did. I'm not proud of it, but that's work. You think I enjoy plying a man with beers just to ferry him from one miserable world to another? You think it makes me feel warm inside when I leave him drunk and snoring in his car, full of alcohol and regret? Save your moral quandaries, kid, I didn't do anything wrong. I drove him home and parked him nicely on the steps and made sure someone took him inside before I left. That someone was you. Remember that night? You do, don't you?"

Rick glared at him. Jan went on unconcernedly.

--from "A Chase of Mysteries" (working title)
-------------

And I should be getting to sleep now, so rest easy, you've been let off light. -smirks-

~Mnemosyne

Monday 23 August 2010

Random craptastic crap from way back in our WTF days

No, that doesn't mean our "what the fk" days are behind us. It just means that we no longer own exclusive tradmarked rights to WeTheFish.ucoz.com. -weeps a little weep- I still remember the transcendant joy that coursed through our veins when we found out what the site's acronym was... wait, who am I kidding? "Transcendant joy"? I just screamed a little and Chronos went off to ransack a neighbour's place in celebration. Aah, the good old days.

Before I derail into a slobbering mess of nostalgia I'd better get back to what this post was meant to be--a few images I created in honour of our little foundling domain. Which, since said domain is gone, are now homeless. So FerretGun better get cracking on ordering that bunk bed because we've got two more useless lovely additions to our already bulging always homey picture ranks.


Whales are cool. Flying is cool. Therefore, flying whales are cool. (y)

However, dodos clucking around on the top of the earth are not so cool. You start burning your ego for fuel when the top predator around is a bird with a brain the size of a chickpea shell.

~Mnemosyne

Saturday 21 August 2010

Chronos' Guide to Feeling Like Absolute Crap

Is this the first time anyone has posted a guide? -glances around FerretGun- Well, since I don't see any disoriented guides walking around like they're drunkards... oh wait, there-- no, never mind, that's Mnem. Stumbling around the snow-capped wastes of purgatory trying to search for an idea. I don't blame her. -shrug- Our inspirational spark kind of died when we started school, y'know? In any case, back on topic! Here, I shall give you tips on how to feel like absolute crap when you wake up!
WARNING: Do not try this unless you are certain you can wake up sane the next day.

1.Point your air conditioner straight at yourself and set it at the lowest temperature possible. This is so you can freeze your ass off. If you don't have an air conditioner, drop a couple of ice cubes down your shirt you can just use a fan set to the highest speed, be it a ceiling fan or... not?

 "And I thought that was just a figure of speech!"
Yeah, so did I man, so did I..

2. Avoid taking a shower until late at night (preferably after your parents or your roommate / friend yell at you), saying you had 'better things to do', most of which involve your laptop or any electronic device (studying is not an advisable distraction). 

 Yeah, you'd better be goddamn sorry.

3. Do whatever you can to keep yourself awake until you begin feeling sleepy. In such a case, move your laptop / electronic device to your bed and continue using it until you feel ready to pass out. Meanwhile, download something simultaneously so you can force yourself to stay up until it finishes downloading (anything over 200mb will do).

 Bah. Pick up line that went obsolete millenia ago.

4. Throughout the day (before you hibernate and hide out in your room), make sure to eat a whole bunch of shet that you know seriously screws up your throat and nose (deep fried hormone laced fast food for the win! No, I am not taking that back. Sue me.)

 Just like eveeeeeery other person.

5. Leave your homework to the last minute or ditch it all together! Yeah, fine, you will probably feel less bored, but come the next day... well, you are totally fu- ahem, screwed. You are totally screwed. Make sure you have level headed teachers with level headed classmates who will have a slight sense to hold the teacher back when he or she lunges at you with a very sharp carving knife. :)

Gawddam, there were a lot of good pictures for this! This picture just ended up loading the fastest.

SEE?! I MADE IT A VISUAL LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR YOU! HA. TOP THAT!

-Chronos

Friday 20 August 2010

Twitter Goes Tweet! Mad Goes... Chirp? Roar? [Insert Sound of WMDs Firing]?

Harhar.
Mnem and I have started school, so we haven't been making any... ah, PROPER contributions to the blog as of late. 1) Sophomore year is pretty neat, but they're already piling on the homework, 2) Lack of inspiration, 3) Free time is spent studying. Sad, I know. Right?
And as always with a comeback post, I will launch into a series of boring announcements that I, being Chronos, must make (because Mnem is Atlas' ego deep in snarkiness!). Ha ha. Please tell me that made sense.

In any case. Firstly, a warm welcome to our first stalker, StupidFerret! You are a generous square addition to our otherwise empty stalker section! Thank you for deciding to follow us! [Although you do know that she is one of the gang, right...?] ... I didn't stutter. :)
Hopefully if things work out alright, we'll have our friends joining consecutively. <- I almost forgot how to spell that word. Huh. And hopefully, Mnem's worst fears will not be realized (i.e. friends going OMFG how could you - though I doubt they'd be that drastic, they're great people WOAH NO BIAS THERE, I THINK I DROPPED SOME SOAP!).
Well, whatever. A warm welcome to StupidFerret anyway. Oi, you has to make a post soon, yeah? Just write shit about... shit. I don't know. Moving on!

Edit: StupidFerret, make sure you read this post, this post, this post, and this post. Make sure to visit Romeo and Juliet: Failed! and give it a read through. Also look at the We Fail! - Designs so you can tell me whether you want a section for yourself too.

I can't believe I dedicated a whole paragraph to that had enough randomness and WTF to hurtle through that paragraph. Onward, ho (no, not THAT ho)! Since Chronos has a penchant for adding new things that Mnem and herself will never use anyway (-cough- FORUM -cough-), look around the website. Notice anything new? Do ya? Besides the little box with the silhouette of a bird under stalkers.

...Yep, you guessed it! The TWEETER! THE TWITTER! THE CHIRPER! THE OMFG-IT'S-MAD-WITH-A-SEMI-AUTOMATIC-WEAPON-RUN-LIKE-HELL!

... I know I'm going over the top. -shrug- Hey, it's a return post! Sue me! ... on second thought, please don't. I have enough shit to deal with-- Basically that little Tweeter / Twitter / Chirper little box deal is to notify you of important updates if you've missed 'em. Chronos knows the chances are high that she is not going to bother and eventually forget about it (LIKE A CERTAIN FORUM--!).

./slap self

I'm going off tangent, eh? Yeah, my brain's kind of like frozen yet liquid slush inside my skull that's slushing.

Goddamn I'm thirsty now.

-Chronos 'Does a ice slush of a brain sound appetizing to you?'

Edit: MNEM HOW THE EFF DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO ON SATURDAYS?! -mildly worried-

Pixelphobic, avert your eyes

One more for the count.



That'll be the last one for a while--promise! Well, from my end at least. Chronos has one more surprise.

~Mnemosyne

Thursday 19 August 2010

Revertion to type imminent


Look, it's our gang! Clicky for important details, such as names, which are of course our pseudonyms for them. Wouldn't want to have anybody stalked, of course... -hehehe-

~Mnemosyne

Wednesday 18 August 2010

And now for something completely different!

[After an incident involving Mnem shoving a phlegm-coated punctuation mark into Chronos' hand]
Chronos: -blink- -disintegrates Mnem's hand with the particle cannon- Germs. -walks off-
Mnem: You missed. I now have no spleen. -dies in mid-step- Well damn.
Chronos: -injects temporary regeneration elixir into Mnem's brain- Cheerio.
Mnem: Nice of you.
Chronos: Well, problem.
Mnemosyne: I still have no spleen.
Chronos: ... the spleen grew out of your stomach.
Mnem: Oh M-a-d... -hides scalpel behind back- Penguins transplant easy into people, did ya know that?
Chronos: Ooo. Wrong syringe, sorry.
Mnem: :-/
Chronos: -disintegrates the external spleen-
Mnem: Nicer.
Chronos: -opens lab coat-
Mnem: Now come here you bird.
Chronos: -rows upon rows of syringes- Hm...
Mnem: What's this one labelled "sentient nose hair"?
Chronos: Who snuck salt water in here?
Mnem: Mad, prolly.
Chronos: I see his grubby lil' flipperprints all over them.
Mnem: Lol.
Chronos: Meh, whatever. -sticks Mnem in a computer-
Mnem: You ain't gonna give me a spleen?
Chronos: -runs a system restoration program-
Mnem: ERROR ERROR INSUFFICIENT MEMORY
Chronos: Nah, just going to return your body to the way it was at a certain point of time.
Mnem: -jerks around- -eyes rolling-
Chronos: Hm. Too young.
Mnem: -fingers twitch spasmodically-
Chronos: Hm. Too old.
Mnem: -legs kick wildly- -head thrashes-
Chronos: Ah, perfect.
Mnem: -mouth flaps- -nose quivers-
Chronos: -kicks Mnem out of her computer- Now shut up and work.
Mnem: Yes, mommy. Work on what? -sticks thumb in mouth- -zones out-
Chronos: Hm.
Mnem: I'm a PLANE! -runs about making airplane noises- WHOOM WHOOM WHOOM Landing! -rolls on ground- -giggles- -pulls on Chronos' hair- Lalalalala~ -throws socks at Mad- -squishes Corrie- -chases Eli Trick up the chimney-
Chronos: -blink-
Mnem: OOH LOOK A PARTICLE CANNON! ... thing. -hits buttons randomly-
Chronos: -dodge-
Mnem: Lalalalalala~! -vaporizes Mad-
Chronos: Problem. Mad? Hm.
Mnem: Penguin went away! -vaporizes palm tree-
Chronos: Eli?
Mnem: Tree went away!
Eli Trick: -stabs Mnem with syringe-
Mnem: -vaporizes ground under ferret- Ferret went OW OW OW GET THAT AWAY FROM ME YOU FKING BASTARD
Chronos: There we go.
Mnem: What the bloody hell is going on?
Chronos: -goes off to watch a video- -stuffs popcorn in mouth- Mad, you can get up now.
Mnem: -carefully replaces particle accelerator-
Chronos: -ashes recombine-
Mnem: -jerks syringe out of arm-
Mad: -stretches-
Mnem: -throws at Mad's head-
Mad: -eats-
Moral of the story: make sure the penguin doesn't get into the syringe collection.

~Mnem

Monday 16 August 2010

AAGH IT BURNS!

Ha. Bet you weren't expecting that title.
1.) I can't feel my goddamn fingers.
2.) I can't feel my goddamn fingers because of the inking, coloring, and Photoshop editing of the following sketch.

Oh look, it's the Ferret Gun Family!

It's like the freaking Renaissance all over again on FerretGun.

-Chronos

Aaaaand another one for the road

More proof that Mnem not only knows what a pencil is and how GIMP works, but that she has absolutely no colour sense either.


From left to right, that's Eli (milking the "masked ferret bandit" look for all it's worth), Mnem (in an orange raincoat, purple boots, and Norwegian Olympic curling team trousers, none of which I actually own in real life--although I'd love the pants), Corrie (who is blue because Mad got bored one Saturday afternoon), Chronos (the respectable-looking-scientist-who's-really-a-bona-fide-mad-scientist-with-a-thin-veneer-of-respectability-and-a-clean-lab-coat), and Mad (with one of my few successes in drawing weapons--pun intended--and in ski goggles because he turns people to stone by looking them in the eyes).

~Mnem

The Era of "Fail Designs"

Mnem has come up with GIMP. Therefore, I too must come up with something.

See that signature in the bottom right corner? Mine. No stealing pl0x. Anyone (if they want to, anyway) is free to share it elsewhere only if credit is given.

Yes, Mnem, go on, berate me on how unepic this is. I colored it in a rush. XD 
It has been added to the "We Fail!" Designs page.


-Chronos

Sunday 15 August 2010

The magic of GIMP

I'll explain later. What I want to do is see these pictures on the internet as proof that what I did actually happened.

-drums fingers impatiently-

So here we see a standard fugly picture: all grey, bad definition, stray marks all over the place, and in sickening black and white (and grey, but I won't go there, because if I do they'll never be able to calm me down).


-waves magic wand that is GIMP-


Ta-da! Oh, GIMP, I love you so. Photoshop can go kiss Nothing, Chronos, nothing. :3

~Mnemosyne

Oo-er, Mnem is ticked

A detached rant, written pretty much the same way I write my school assignments. Guess what I was pissed about. Go on, guess. :-/

"It is so easy to take the low road sometimes. To fob off of someone else--to put all your effort aside--to not raise a finger for what you want, what you believe in, what you think is right. Maybe it is because you were lazy. Maybe it is because you know no other way. Maybe it is something that sits badly in the back of your mind; you get away with it by assuring yourself that it was a one-time fling, that desperate people do desperate things, but you're wrong. It doesn't end there. You do one thing wrong and it becomes easier to let yourself go. We are all born procrastinators; we must work hard to be diligent. No prizes for guessing which virtue (or not) most people will confess to being closet practicers. I myself have issues with scheduling things that I do not like. Take this English homework, for example. It took me perhaps an hour to find and read 17 poems and then to pull one particularly moving poem out of the bunch--a process that, frankly, should have been the longest part of the entire assignment. And yet when it comes to the actual writing I have no idea what to say. I put it off for one day, pleading school, and then put it off another day, pleading a rest; I put it off for one more day, pretending that I did not remember, and then I see it again the day before it is due and I panic. I think, It's like last year all over again. I think, Didn't I promise to clean up my act? I make excuses; I tell myself I make mistakes, there's still time to fix it, I get the paper in on time, no harm done. While I pride myself on being able to work under pressure, it is not an enviable habit, and I should really get to doing things in a far more timely manner. Furthermore I have succeeded in doing the same thing to my French homework, which (being written in a foreign language, requiring multiple 150-word chapters, and referencing source material from last year) promises to be infinitely more procrastination-friendly than a simple English paragraph. Before long, I predict that it will turn into a vicious cycle swallowing all assignments from all classes and I will furthermore be unable to redeem myself from this existential hell. I should have seen it coming. Why didn't I?"

~Mnemosyne

Blue as

It's 5:42 in the morning and I've got the curtains to my big sliding balcony doors open, because a) it's not warm enough to warrant blocking the sun and b) I love the sight of cities before dawn. Why? Because it's different, I suppose, different from whatever the city usually is when the full light of the sun shines on it. You wake up, look outside, and everything is washed over in these lovely shades of blue with bright needling orange pinpoints where the streetlights are on. No cars, if you get up early enough; no smoke, no fire. Birdsong (or maybe just bird gossiping, it's not like anyone knows for sure) drowns out most everything. It's like a watercolour with a soundtrack. It could be anywhere; and for a girl who lives in a city reeking of pollution, poverty, and bad taste, anywhere is better than here.

It's lightening up. One by one the streetlights die, and the horizon comes into view. I'm always amazed at how fast the illusion packs up and leaves. How my lovely little watercolour takes about fifteen minutes to bleed out into the same dull urban landscape you would find from any other vantage point in this godforsaken city. Maybe I like the pre-dawn hours because they look like pictures I've seen of the Arctic Circle's eternal dusk, which goes back to the whole "this could be everywhere" deal that keeps this particular time period an abiding draw for me.

Blue like a crayon sketch, a dye factory accident, an entire ocean stopped up in a bottle. Blue like a drop-cut sapphire, a field of cornflowers, a blueberry quietly crushed into the tablecloth. Blue like a flag with a yellow cross in--

-slaps knee- Sweden. That's the place. Reminds me of Sweden. You know... cobalt skies, snow. Downhill skiers. Lutefisk.

But how can you be reminded of somewhere you've never been?

~Mnemosyne

The great big death myth debunking post

Hi. As you can see, we're not dead yet--the operative word here being "yet". School started around four days ago and apparently we've both been wrapped up enough in our sad little offline lives that we've neglected our delightful blog. Not to mention our forums and three very hungry and irritated blog mascots. -feeds the cat kibble, feeds the ferret birds, feeds the penguin freshmen-

Speaking of which, the teacher of the class that Chronos and I share (let's call it History because it's a pain being ambiguous sometimes) is EPIC. -metaphorically underlines- Seriously. He has this bloodstained stick that he pokes people with, he plays WOW, he runs his class as an outright dictatorship ("There is no democracy here"), and he kills a ninth grader every year. (This, of course, is epic only mostly because we are sophs now. [Did I just invent that term?]) Needless to say, both Chronos and I are looking forward to a year with him. So much nicer more lively being a sophomore under his stick than a freshie under six feet of dirt.

Hmm... in other news, our other classes worked out fine. Out of the two of us I am the one most likely to be swapping/switching out a period because of some egregious little mixup when the school computers assigned my Creative Writing block. You see, CW is a semester course offered twice in one year, and the one in first deals with poetry while the one in second touches more on prose. Both Atlas and myself signed up for Sem 2 and got assigned to Sem 1. I don't like poetry, but I don't like screwing with my schedule either, so I've pretty much resigned myself to ninety days of metered crap bullcrap. Unfortunately Atlas isn't so keen on that course of action. I've been attempting to... er... dissuade him, rather violently unsuccessfully I will admit, from bolting to the counselors when they open back up to the general school body on Monday, but as far as the class is concerned it's still an open question as to whether he'll show up again on Wednesday first block or whether I will have to hunt him down and break his perfidious neck.

-beat-

Nothing quite like grievous bodily harm to get the school year off to a good start.

~Mnemosyne

Tuesday 10 August 2010

The Wonders of Purple

Well, seeing Mnem put up her hand drawn birthday card for her mother on FG, it got me in the mood to draw (I haven't touched a pencil for a month or so already). Here is a completely purplish monster that will scare the hell out of you. --

DON'T ENLARGE IT OH GOD DON'T ENLARGE IT. You'll be blind for the rest of your life if you do.
I am happy with how the coloring and wrinkles turned out (on the skirt. I got lazy on the shirt.). The legs are cut off. Not because I didn't draw them. I did draw them. I just snapped her legs off cut it out when I took the picture with my phone. My camera's out of power and I'm too lazy to charge it, so voila. Sorry I couldn't make it look whiter with Photoshop -- the color would die if I tried to (or I'm just not good at using it). Free internet cookies to those who guess where the charming purple lady came from. :)

-Chronos "GET TO THE FORUMS, FIENDS!"
On another lovely note...
SHIT SHIT SHIT SCHOOL STARTS SOON SHIT SHIT SHIT!
Hey, it's alliteration.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SCHOOL STARTS SOON SHIT SHIT SHIT!

Proof that Mnem knows what a pencil is in real life

The front of a birthday card I ran off for my mother. Names removed for paranoid reasons.


EDIT! Chronos very kindly defuglified it. View ze finished product below.

 Ain't she nice? :3

~Mnemosyne

Huhuhuhu...

I can't sleep. And as a direct result of my sudden bout of insomnia, I'm writing this post among other things I've done in the past hour or so. Firstly...

If you know and recognize the name, you either stumbled across a now shut down website or several failed attempts to create a website. If you know and recognize the name without falling under the previously underlined conditions...
YOU STALKER.  
On a much brighter note, the reason for the sudden creation was not because I was bored. Nor was it because I had voices telling me to make it. No. This is all for... FerretGun's NEW and OFFICIAL forum! (Yeah, I got sick of using red.) Well, you are aware of my habits of suddenly adding something to the blog - Mnem knows this quite well. If you missed the addition of that huge button, you must be blind. Either that or you don't visit this blog enough, apparently. The website that is hosting my forum is this simple forum generator, I suppose (I will refrain from mentioning links out of a fear of disappointment). There are multiple levels of membership!
Firstly, there is me. I'm the head honcho of the forum. I make the magic technical things appear whilst Mnem is more of a constant and better writer poster. Mnem will be inducted sworn-in knighted promoted elevated to her rightful position as a fellow Moderator and Administrator when she wakes up tomorrow morning later and checks FerretGun. Level two is just for our much appreciated, non-existent Moderators.
Level three is named after our lovable mascot, Eli Trick, who is the face of this blog! Well, not really. We just have many assorted pictures of random ferrets. Members are affectionately known as Eli Tricksters (though I doubt anyone will be an Eli Trickster in a while).
Despite the fact that Mad tried to shoot a hole in my head a while back with a bazooka for placing him below Eli Trick (and Mnem), he maintains some satisfaction in being a Penguin General that commands armies of Chipper Cats (level four -- named after Mnem's Medusa Corrie) and Earmuffed Pigs (level five -- refer to this post).
Thus, make sure to take a look, join, and make a thread. It is quite empty at the moment. Quite. Perhaps I'll open up a thread before awo;jfsps[\:OAJOfa.

Huh. Did I just pass out on the keyboard from sleep deprivation just nojowa;ifelkwsdfa;ksldf

-Chronos "Just one thread and I'll go to sleep, okay?!"
Edit: 'Clash of the Psychos' Header has been added to We Fail! - Designs.
And, quoting Mnem...
I really need to start sleeping earlier.

OH HOLY SHET IT'S SCHOOL TOMORROW.

Fk.

Borking borker son of a bork!

Today was fun. A group of us girls were meeting at a mall--first get-together we'd had in months. And then of course Fate noticed that we were planning a good time and decided to get stuck in with us, which of course meant that hardly anything went according to plan.

Chronos had kindly offered to take me to the mall, because I am carless half the time and she lives so close by, but this gesture ended up being more a  pain in the ass for her than a demonstration of her Good Samaritanship. Specifically we were delayed by my mother's most likely illegal wholly legitimate hoedown corn shucking llama-tipping frollypalooza appointment at a bank. And by delayed I mean COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DELAYED for two frickin' hours. I mean, seriously! Out of all the other days in summer, the Mother had to go and pick today to get her square-dancing cob-husking camelid-toppling nonexistantworderrorerrordoesnotcompute**CRASH**ing needs filled at BANK NAME REMOVED FOR LEGAL PURPOSES?! Sigh... but she did. And so we waited. Chronos spammed me with random ferret-related SMSes and engaged in other idle pursuits, such as possibly attaining an intermediate level of fluency in Quechua and redesigning the Sistine Chapel, while I sat at home and stared sulkily at the computer. (To each her own.)

At long last the Mother returned and I was permitted to leave. The journey to long-suffering Eusebia's house and the leg from there to the mall was uneventful. -beat- Well, it was eventful, but not in a SFW kind of way. -beat- Pervs. Not like that.

Anyways, we arrived safely and extremely late, and met up with the other girls in our expedition. Methe, Eirene, Neikea, and Hestia had already been at the mall for two-odd hours when Chronos, Eusebia and I showed up. Some hurried discussion and then a plan was formed. Firstly Methe cashed in on her free tickets, buying us seven seats for the 3:30 showing of Inception; then we went to a delicious but horribly overpriced little restaurant called NAME REMOVED FOR FEAR OF LAWSUITS where I paid ninety-fking-seven thousand, five-fking-hundred CURRENCY REMOVED FOR FEAR OF TRACING OUR COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE for an admittedly tasty grilled beef sausage and rosti. (Mmm... rosti.) Chronos, meanwhile, paid exactly the same amount of money for a glass of juice and a small pizza, while several members of our party ended up shelling out over 120,000 WE DON'T NEED TO REPEAT OURSELVES DO WE NOW? for around the same amount of food. Needless to say, we are never going to come back to that dive again. -shudder- It took some basic arithmetic and a lot of quick thinking to come up with a parentally acceptable explanation for the expenses, one which regrettably included a little bit of lying screwing with the truth in a way that brings to mind the old dictum of "what they don't know won't be casually brought up the next time you ask for money". (Desperate people do desperate things.)

By the time we exited the fiscal sinkhole of NAME REMOVED FOR YADDI YADDI YA it was already about half past two, so we decided to split: Methe, Eusebia, and Hestia set off to gossip and window shop (I think) while Chronos, Neikea, Eirene and I headed for the pool tables. What followed was a lively hour of... well... Neikea hitting trick shots, Eirene missing trick shots, Mnem missing things in general and Chronos blatantly abusing her "bork" privileges. And then the gawkers came back, and we went to watch Inception, and everyone wandered out lookingly vaguely disoriented, and we went home, and if you're wondering why the post is finishing on such a lacklustre tone it's because it's 1:20 in the morning and I am damn tired.

I really need to start sleeping earlier.

OH HOLY SHET IT'S SCHOOL TOMORROW.

Fk.

~Mnemosyne

Re: Mnem's Game

Mnem told me to give a shot at it, so I did.

This is the Wikipedia article I got -- click here.

The quote I got is --
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-- Charles DuBois
Therefore, my album name is 'What We Could Become' by 'Alameda Terminal'.

Album cover --

Let me make this clear. I DO NOT OWN THIS PHOTO.
The photo can be found at this link -- click here.
This photo belongs to Flickr user JumpinJack. I am in no way claiming this as my own.

-Chronos 'Yes, I like disclaimers because it prevents me from getting sued.'

Sunday 8 August 2010

Let's play a game...

Stole this from a forum post on GOS, which was in turn stolen from the inimitable TV Tropes. -cheeky grin- That's two of my obsessions right there. Oh, Internet, you amaze me! :P

Here's how you play (no cheating!):

Go to Wikipedia and click "random article". The article you get will be your band's name. If it actually is a band's name, or a musician's name, then you have permission to hit F5, because pulling a real-life artist spoils the fun.

Now go here. Scroll down to the last quote and write down the last four words of said quote. This phrase, no matter how nonsensical it may be, is your album title.

Finally, go here. Third photo on the first row will be your album cover.

Here's what I got when I played--

Link here.

Presenting Won't Get Much Sleep by Corografia Açórica. Creepily appropriate cover, eh?

~Mnemosyne

Saturday 7 August 2010

A dream within a dream within a dream within a mind screw

"A caper from Christopher Nolan. Unlike your average heist, it's not about taking something, but about leaving something behind."--TV Tropes' Inception page

Science fiction action film Inception takes place in a world, ostensibly our own, where the technology exists to enter other people's subconscious via the medium of dreams. Dom Cobb is an extractor: a professional thief who specializes in nipping into sleepers' heads and stealing their secrets right out of their mind. Despite his unconventional talents, all he wants to do is put his gun down and see his estranged children again, but given that he's being aggressively ... pursued ... by a disgruntled former client and is the subject of an international arrest warrant, going home isn't easy is completely out of the question.

Then the subject of a bungled extraction attempt makes him an offer. Japanese businessman Saito, having seen Cobb's gift firsthand, wants him to perform inception, or sticking an idea into someone else's head, on his business rival Robert Fischer. In return Saito promises to dissolve all Cobb's legal problems, freeing up a way for him to reunite with his children once again. Hesitantly, Cobb accepts the offer, ropes together a team of equally morally questionable dream technicians and orchestrates the jump into Fischer's subconscious. Thus begins the mind screw part of the film, which is, to be fair, not so much "wtf is going on" as "wtf just happened and how did we get here?!". It's a fast film, exceedingly so, and the two and a half hours of screen time go by pretty quickly.

Inception is noted for its original storyline (infiltrating dreams!), effective use of special effects (folding Paris into a taco! spinning Joseph Gordon-Levitt around in an antigrav hallway! digitally crumbling an entire dream world!), badass characters (Eames! Arthur!) and all-star cast (Leo DiCaprio! Marion Cotillard! Ellen Page! ... y'know what, just go look up the cast list, I'd have to list over fifteen names here). I swear I'll blackmail somebody if it doesn't end up on the Oscar list. You'll help me, right, Chronos? Right? -depraved grin-

No, but seriously, folks, my summary doesn't do it justice. (I suck at summaries anyway. Took me two hours to finish this post, not to mention an utterly rubbished first draft from last night.) So go out and watch it while it's still in the cinemas. It will blow your mind. Shet, I'd even offer a money back guarantee if I could figure out how to force the theatre chain to let me into their stockrooms ... wait ...

~Mnem- "Who says you don't learn anything from movies? Off to go orchestrate a mind heist, shh" -osyne

Post, you hypocritical fiend, post!

Since I know that eventually Mnem will quote my "post fiend, post!" line back at me (which was stolen from her in the very first place), I've decided to spout some a bunch of random crap INFORMATIONAL and EDUCATIONAL things for you to read. Hmm...
Yeah, I lied. I'm quite sure you can already see it this early on in the post. If you didn't, damn. Imagine the last two sentences struck out. I never said anything.
Come, let us play the blame game again. This is based on an actual dialogue.

Chronos' Cousin 1 (on MSN): Hey, do you want to go out to the mall?
Chronos (on MSN): Why?
Chronos' Cousin 1 (on MSN): I'm bored. So, yes or no?
Chronos (on MSN): Sure, why not. I have to kill time to wait for my game to finish patching anyway.
Chronos' Cousin 1 (on MSN): Cool, see you in a bit. (logs out)
-After the MSN conversation...-
Chronos: (sitting in front of her computer)
Chronos' Cousin 2: (opens the door) Hello. What the hell are you doing in front of the computer? 
Chronos: Um. Using it?
Chronos' Cousin 2: When my brother said see you in a bit, he meant it! Hurry up, change!
Chronos: Okay. (lethargically stands up, glances at the screen for five more seconds) (is halfway up the stairs) Oh. Wait. Have you had lunch yet?
Chronos' Cousins 1 & 2: NO! That's why we're telling you to hurry up!
Chronos: Okay, okay! (rushes)
-After Chronos changes and leaves the house...-
Chronos (walking to the mall next door): So, what are we doing?
Chronos' Cousin 2: Arcade.
Chronos: Yay! Wait, are we only doing that because we have nothing better to do?
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: Yeah, pretty much.
Chronos: ... oh... kay. What's for lunch?
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: Sushi.
Chronos: ... ah, okay, sushi. Wait, you bastards! The day I eat lunch early, you decide to go eat sushi?!
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: (laughing)
Chronos: Fk it. I need my sushi intake. (disregards full stomach and goes to eat anyway)
-Going to the sushi place...-
Chronos' Cousin 2: Alright, so we're going to put the plates separately. We're paying for however much we eat this time ourselves.
Chronos: About time. I was broke the last time I treated [Cousin 2's friend] and you! I am not treating you again.
Chronos' Cousin 2: Aww, but your parents are so rich--
Chronos: Screw you!
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: (laughing)
-After some eating...-
Chronos: Can I go over to the other sushi belt and snatch the one that I want that isn't rotating on ours? I NEED MY GODDAMN EEL.
-After some eating...-
Chronos: So, are we going to the arcade first or do you want to go downstairs?
Chronos' Cousin 2: How about we go up to the arcade first and then go downstairs?
Chronos: (shrug) (heads up to the arcade)
-After the arcade...-
Chronos: Alright! Time to go downstairs for some ice cream!
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: I thought you weren't hungry.
Chronos: ...
Chronos' Cousin 1 & 2: ROFLMAO.
Chronos' Cousin 2: I want chicken wings.
-After going downstairs...-
Chronos: Holy crap now I don't know whether I want a strawberry sundae from McDonalds or a root beer float from A&W! Hey, [Cousin 1], flip a coin! I don't want what happened at the arcade the other day to happen again. {Refer to this post for details}
Chronos' Cousin 1: (laughing) (drops the coin) (looks at the coin) Heads. Ice cream.
Chronos: That doesn't count! You dropped it. Flip it again!
Chronos' Cousin 1: (flips) (looks at the coin) Tails. Root beer float.
Chronos: Awright! -heads over to the nearby A&W. (notices the station is empty) What the fawk?
Chronos' Cousin 2's Boyfriend: No one's here. (heads back to McD for ice cream)
Chronos: This is shitty service! I demand compensation!
-A bite of ice cream and chicken later...-
Chronos' Cousin 1 (at the entrance of the mall): We still have time. Want to go to Toys 'R Us?
Chronos: (has her foot halfway out the door) Sure, why not?
-After ascending the escalator for 3 levels...-
Chronos: (grabs a toy plushie hammer) (whacks Cousin 1 in the shoulder) (hammer makes a glass shattering sound)
Chronos' Cousin 1: What the hell? (grabs a hammer)
(hammer war ensues)
Chronos' Cousin 2 (in the board game section): I was thinking about buying a board game. Probably Twister. But they don't have Twister.
Chronos: (very clearly spots a Twister) Uh... there's one here.
Chronos' Cousin 2: Oh. I missed that. How much?
Chronos: RM59. But I think if you buy it, you won't have space to play it.
Chronos' Cousin 2: How big's the mat?
Chronos: (proceeds with an abstract demonstration of the mat's size)
Chronos' Cousin 2: How about we look for another board game then? (spots Monopoly City) Oooh. (picks up box) IT HAS ELECTRONIC BANKING. (hugs box) I want it! (looks at price tag) Damn. (gingerly puts it back)
Chronos: You know, if we combine money we can buy it. Probably. Except then we'd be broke, which would soon be followed by an ass-kicking from our parents. Mostly my mom.
Chronos' Cousin 2: What if we call someone to pay for it?
Chronos: ... my mom, right?
Chronos' Cousin 2: (gingerly lends phone to Chronos)
Chronos: (dials Mom's number) (hyperventilates) (reaches voice mail box) (sigh of relief)
Chronos' Cousin 2: I don't think this is such a good idea... (feels slightly guilty) Let's go.
-After the merry band leaves Toys 'R Us...-
Chronos: (manages to get through to her mom's phone) Uh, h-hi Mom. W-where are you right now? Home? Yeah. Okay, can you do us a big favor? [Cousin 2] and everyone else, we want this new board game-- it's called Monopoly. It has this new thing that makes it different from everything else. ...it costs RM169. Yeah, it's expensive, I know. ... what, you're coming over? Okay. Okay, we'll meet you at the entrance, bye.
Chronos' Cousin 2: Shit. (entire troupe of people feel guilty) Right, we'll go downstairs again to buy some biscuits to bribe our grandmother with. You stay here with [Cousin 1] and wait for your mom.
Chronos and Chronos' Cousin 1: (gulp)
-After failing to find a good hiding spot...-
Chronos: U-uh, h-hi, Mom.
Mom: (in an amused voice) You're really smart, you know? You're broke and then you call me over to pay for it.
Chronos and Chronos' Cousin 1: (nervous laugh)
Mom: So? Where's the board game?
Chronos: Well, first we have to wait for [Cousin 2] and [Cousin 2's Boyfriend].
-After the Biscuit Bribe has been bought...-
Chronos' Cousin 2: H-hi, Auntie. On second thought, we don't want the board game, it's okay...
Mom: Hm? Do you want to buy the board game or not?
Entire Mall Group: ... (glancing at each other guiltily)
Mom: -ascends escalator-
Entire Mall Group: (thinks) Shit.
-After entering that place with the weird giraffe mascot and finding the board game...-
Mom: (takes board game to the cashier) (pays for with credit card)
Chronos: (sneaks behind Mom) H-hi Mom. Are you mad? Is there something I can do to not make you mad at me?
Mom: ... well, you could talk to me more often.
Chronos: R-right! Okay! I'll talk to you for one hour every single day! I'll talk and talk to you until you're sick of it!
Mom: (amused smile) (hands the board game to Chronos) Okay? Is that it? I'm going to go now. Bye.
-After Mom leaves and we are all in Cousin's 2 car to visit her house-
Note: The yelling portion is done jokingly.
Chronos' Cousin 2 (whilst driving): Okay, so, who are we going to blame here?
Chronos: I BLAME  [COUSIN 1]. HE'S THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED TO GO TO TOYS 'R US.
Chronos' Cousin 1: WHAT?!
Chronos' Cousin 2: I BLAME YOU. YOU CALLED YOUR MOM.
Chronos: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SUGGESTED IT!
Chronos' Cousin 2: NO I DIDN'T. YOU TOOK MY PHONE AND CALLED HER.
Chronos: Yeah, after you said we should ask someone else to pay!
Chronos' Cousin 2: Yeah, okay, let's blame [Cousin 2's Boyfriend]!
Cousin 2's Boyfriend: ?! (starts tickling Cousin Two whilst she's driving)
Chronos (is sitting in the front): HOLY SHIT DON'T TICKLE HER I DON'T WANT TO DIE YOUNG.
Chronos' Cousin 2: (is laughing until her sides hurt and tears are coming out of her eyes)
Chronos: Oh fk. BUT ANYWAY. I BLAME [COUSIN 1]. HE SUGGESTED THE MALL TRIP.
-After much continuous 'arguing'...-
Chronos' Cousin 2: (opens the door to their house) (sees their mother inside)
(The Mall Troupe walk in and simultaneously burst into laughter)
Chronos' Cousins' Mother: (Wtf expression)
That's my life in a nutshell.

-Chronos

Friday 6 August 2010

It's "let's see how well Mnem can function on five hours of sleep" time again!

Remarkably well, if you're wondering. I rarely suffer ill effects from staying up till four AM and I'm usually pretty capable of being productive in this state. Of course, it's probably because I tend to get a good night's sleep in general. There's no telling how I'd react to chronic sleep deprivation (although I am willing to bet a crock of gold with a leprechaun thrown in that said reaction would not be SFW).

Chronos is also pretty good at dealing with low sleep levels, but out of all of us I think the gold medal for the least amount of shut-eye should go to Lyssa. Seriously, I probably snooze more in three days than she does in a whole week. Not that it affects her adversely or anything ... <_< -looks around nervously- >_> ... right. I think we should all just be glad that homicidality is not linked in any way to sleeplessness. But wait, maybe it is. -beat- Uh-oh, we're in trouble. -heightened state of anxiety-

Okay, granted, the article didn't explicitly state that genocidal urges are linked to staying up late. Plus it's not just a skipping a few hours of downtime, it's chronic insomnia. But still. Point stands. We are all in danger of being dismembered by shuffling sleepless soulless H. sapiens sapiens shells! Doom will rain from above from the dozens of desperate denizens deliberately disinclined to doze! Prepare to writhe in regret as the roaming ranks of the rigidly restless red-eyed rovers rear their rumpled rears heads and rumble the residence with their rampant roaring!
THE END IS NIGH! NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU! HUMANITY IS FINISHED! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Ahem. Er. Got a little carried away there. <_< ... >_> You saw nothing. -clears throat-

-beat-

Look, an entire post without crashing out once! Unless you count the whole "we're all doomed" tirade Nope. No crashing at all. See, Mom, I told you I don't need eight straight hours to be a perfectly somewhat marginally functioning human being!

~Mnemosyne

Wednesday 4 August 2010

Mourn the Getting-Into-An-Marked-Van-Named-Ending of the Summer Holiday

Yeah, fine, I've already talked about this. Cut a person with no ideas some slack, will you? Especially when the brain hacking event called school begins. The fact that I have no ideas is already evidence enough that the thought of school is already siphoning common sense, and oh God, fun out of our brains. Simultaneously ignore the fact that I leave my homework to last minute on school days in lieu of Tales Runner, probably FerretGun, and cleaning / typesetting / playing around with Photoshop. I'm a busy person, you see. LIES!
Now, allow me to bid farewell to the summer holidays, a ritual which will last from now until the beginning of school, filled with much boredom and no consideration at all for the readers!
Today, I was watching eBuzz on AXN. Yes, I am currently somewhere in Asia. Please don't pounce at the chance to find out if I'm a 30 year old pedophile or a 15 year old girl (like I've been saying I am). Well, whichever, you'll probably be disappointed either way if you do find out. Back to the topic at hand. eBuzz. They were listing a whole bunch of recent movies and what spot they were. Well, I am proud to present the list - the epitome of summer movies, the cream of the crop on the coffee which is the summer (if you don't understand, it's fine. I don't either).


Remaining on the list at nuuuuumber one!
#01 - Inception
Directed by Christopher Nolan, featuring Leonardo DiCaprio (they sure brought the big guns in for this), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, more people whose names I've never really heard mentioned before and I'm too lazy to list. Sorry.
I'm quite sure Mnem will kick my ass just for mentioning this movie. Apparently, it really screws with your mind. Sadly, I haven't had the honor of watching this movie yet. Something about the ability to enter people's dreams. -is browsing the movie summary as she is writing this post- I'll let Mnem handle this.



Next up, debuting on the list at nuuuumber two!
#02 - Salt
Directed by Phillip Noyce, featuring Angelina Jolie (what else do you need to know?)
Haven't seen this movie either, so I can't say I know what it's about. Apparently it has something to do with patriotism or spying. Mayhaps when I get around to watching it (which I will), I'll update this post. I don't like paraphrasing off other people's movie summaries.
Have I mentioned how much of a pain in the ass it is to adjust the layout of this post? Well, whatever.
And the last movie of this list - the only one I've actually watched - at nuuuuuumber 3!
#03 - The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Directed by John Turteltaub (the guy who directed National Treasure - sounding good), featuring Nicholas Cage (sounding better - hell, that's all the motivation I need! :D) and Jay Baruchel
Oh, and let's not forget Disney! Round of applause for you folks over there! The Sorcerer's Apprentice, as its name obviously suggests, is about the apprentice of the sorcerer. Too obvious for you? Well, it involves Merlin, his three apprentices and an evil sorceress named Morgana. One apprentice, Horvath, betrays Merlin as Veronica (one of the apprentices) fell in love with Balthazar (the other apprentice who happens to reciprocate her feelings) instead of him. The classic love triangle (don't you think you're taking it a little too far, Horvath?). Merlin is killed as a result of Horvath's betrayal. Balthazar seals Morgana (whose soul is in Veronica's body in an attempt to save Merlin) into a magical nesting doll. Before he dies, Merlin gives Balthazar his magic ring (which every sorcerer needs to perform magic) and tells him that whoever it reacts to will be fated to be his successor in addition to being the sole person able to destroy Morgana for good. And so Balthazar searches, searches, searches, and he finds a child named Dave in the 21st century. A scuffle with a newly revived Horvath occurs (who was sealed in the doll as well), followed by the two being trapped in a Chinese jar for 10 years (Again. For Horvath). By then, Dave is a university student studying physics (and pretty damn good at it, too). Horvath and Balthazar escape from the jar, and Balthazar finds Dave again to take him on as his apprentice. And so the rest of the movie is dedicated to training Dave to defeat Morgana (which he eventually does, of course).
Yay! Freakishly long and bad movie summaries for the win! Make sure you watch these three movies before they go obsolete, yeah?

-Chronos "Yeah, I'm really bored. That, and I need to post on FG so I don't come off as lazy. Which I am, for the record."

P.S. Have you noticed the last few posts have been tagged 'written while wasted' often? 

A new member of the Ferret Gun family with the dubious and yet surprisingly heretofore (is that even a word? am I using it right? probably not) unseen distinction of actually being a ferret

We have a cat. We have a penguin. We even have, for various purposes unknown to myself and (I suspect) Chronos, an anthropomorphic little tofu. (Poor little guy. I hope he survived the Sunday brunch, although given the fact that I haven't seen him around recently, that may be a bit of a pipe dream.) BUT--and this is a big but that I cannot deny (sorry, couldn't resist the joke)--we have never had a ferret. -gasp-

Oh, sure, there are ferrets on our fantastic anniversary header, courtesy of Chronos' curious Photoshop fixation. Those don't really count because they are ferret avatars... er... representations of myself and that other girl, the one with hobo issues my site buddy. Yet there exists a fundamental lack of ferrety companionship equable to that of our much-loved Mad and Corrie. -thumps gavel- A fundamental lack, I'm telling you! What is FerretGun without ferrets? Why, then, it's just a Gun, and we would be accused of perpetrating the mindlessly violent stereotypes that debase and degrade today's youths! That, and the domain name was already taken. But still. Ferrets are what make FerretGun more than just another random blog. They give us notoriety, infamy, a terrifying reputation among owners of unmarked white vans! So why in the name of everything green and glowy do we not have a little ferret companion, hm? The ferret gods deprived us of ferrets--so, us being who we are (brings to mind a Terry Pratchett quote--"If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'"), we made our own ferret friend. -clears throat-

Ladies and gentleman, meet -draws curtain dramatically- F.E.R.R.E.O.T! Freaking Epic Rage Rage Eli Omu Tricycle, also known as Eli Trick because he is cool enough to get a last name -fends off a jealous cat and penguin- is FG's newest family member and a bona fide, 100%, non-genetically altered yes Chronos I'm looking at you ferret. (Well, duh. You'd tell if he was a cauliflower or something.)


Very obviously not a vegetable, there! What a thespian. -admires- Cheeky little sonofaferret. Hah! Thought I was gonna say something else, didn't ya? Well, there will be no swearing in this post. No swearing at a--


HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT THING?!

~Mnem- "Did I mention that he has homicidal tendencies? Fits in with the overall theme, frankly" -osyne

 I do hate to ruin this post, but you linked cat, penguin, and tofu wrongly. 
Cat was linked to tofu, penguin was linked to cat, and tofu was linked to... tofu. 
Epic fail, Mnem. :P I've already fixed the links for you. 

Sunday 1 August 2010

HOLY SHET!

-glances about nervously- H-hey, it's the f-first of August... ha ha ha...

OMFG SCHOOL STARTS IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yes, that dreaded time of the year has arrived. The school season - for international schools, at any rate - reopens! And while I will find some pleasure scaring the hell out of the new students with my insanity (as well as the returning students who know me and for some odd reason STILL remain friends with me - you know what I mean, Mnem), overall, school season = CON CON CON CON CON CON CON CON CON CON. Sure, I mean, seeing your friends, some of your favorite teachers, and meeting new people is a pro. 's a good thing. But this is 10th grade. Sophomore year. I.e. The-year-where-they-hack-you-into-little-pieces-in-preparation-for-IB-or-AP-and-mill-about-with-carving-knives-during-class-to-make-sure-you're-actually-working, and in the following year (AAAA IB AND AP), it's going to be I-walk-around-with-a-freaking-chainsaw-to-make-sure-you-don't-go-to-university-in-a-dumpster-though-I-wouldn't-care-if-you-did-actually. DO YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PAIN? On top of that, I have a fanfiction to update weekly in addition to my new job as a cleaner / typesetter for a scanlation group! It takes a while to digitally upgrade manga scans, you know! Especially if there's a lot of cloning / redrawing to be done!
... in other news, I'm quite sure you get the idea. No, I am not complaining. By the way, Mnem decided not to submit her novel-in-the-making story to the contest because she kind of went over the word limit and started bleeding (an arm hacked off too!) when she began chipping at it to get it under 4000 words. So, she's going to keep it and post it on WDC anyway - and hopefully, one of these days, I'll get to read it. And so--
IB Student in his Valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony:

"Looking back on IB, I probably wouldn't have gotten into Harvard without it. I plan on studying molecular biology, and Harvard has one of the best molecular biology programs in the world, and with this first-class education I hope to one day cure cancer. So if you think about it, my participation in the IB program could save millions of lives, and I guess my sanity was a fair price to pay over these past four years for that possibility. Although I do wish I didn't have to make the choice."

-IB Quotes.com
-gulp- Yay. Near death to anticipate in the near future. But then again, I never had any sanity to begin with, so what would I degrade to...?

-Chronos "Mnem you fiend, post!"